Dear Lexi,
Last week was your first full week of
daycare/Preschool (or, ‘daycare school’ as you refer to it) at The Learning
Jungle. And let me tell you, you did AMAZINGLY well. They said you transitioned
like an old pro, and it felt like you’d always been a part of the (very small)
program. Not a single tear shed or backward glance to be had – just excitement
over all the new toys, new friends, new experiences, new crafts. We couldn’t be
prouder. I didn’t have any worry about you at all; you have never been the shy
sort. You have a new best friend (a little boy named Dallas), and you
absolutely adore your teacher (Miss Jessika). You play outside, you do crafts,
you nap well on your cot, you eat all the yummy catered food with gusto. No one
would ever guess that your daycare experience has been limited! When you think
about the situation, you have been home with me, full-time, for MOST of your
short life. From birth to 12 months it was you and me (and your sister
part-time), every day. Then you had a brief stint at Sherri’s, a home daycare
environment – small, nurturing, mostly young kids, ‘family’-like. But of course,
I was already pregnant with Holden when you started daycare so we knew it
wouldn’t be for long. By 19 months old, when your brother arrived, you were
back home with me, full-time. There were a few days you attended daycare at
Peekaboo with Mercedes, but it was really just a handful of times. Other than
that, it’s been you, me and Holden. All day. Every day. For the past FIFTEEN
months. It sounds like a lifetime, but it passed in the blink of an eye.
Saying goodbye to Mercedes when she first
started daycare was hard, but it was exciting too – I looked forward to getting
back to working, to being someone other than just ‘mom’. When I went back to
work after maternity leave with you, I didn’t feel guilty or sad at all – but
again, I already knew I was facing more time ‘off’ with my babies, and I had
seen how much daycare had enriched your sister’s life. But this time… this was
the FINAL return. The final goodbye, to not just Holden, my baby that made this
final maternity leave possible, but to you and your sister also. Over the past
five years of motherhood, I have in fact been at home with YOU the most. And I
got the immense privilege of taking your sister to school and back for almost
her entire first year – a perk I won’t get with you and your brother. So as
stressful, exhausting and difficult the past fifteen months have been, I
wouldn’t trade them for the world. Part of me wishes I could still be at home
with you all – I miss the extra snuggles and putting you down for naps every
day and seeing you play with friends on playdates (and I miss MY friends too!).
I miss the laughter and going for walks and seeing you play on the swings and
reading you stories and having your ‘help’ running errands and picking up a
happy, tired Mercedes from school. Of course, we’ll still do all of these
things, it just won’t be as frequent. Weekends pass all too quickly when you
work full-time.
But I do enjoy working –
I like my job, and above all else, I want to be a good role model for you and
your siblings – to show you that you can have anything you dream of, no matter
how difficult it may be. So quantity of time turns into quality, and really –
the quality couldn’t be better. I am thrilled you are enjoying yourself at
daycare, and learning so much. I am also thrilled to see your smiling face and
crazy hair and tight hugs at the end of every work day. It makes it all worth
it!
Love,
Mama
