Dear Mercedes,
Today marks your very first day of Senior
Kindergarten! It was a little anti-climactic for me, since I couldn’t take you
directly to school, but instead took you to your usual spot in the before and
after school program. I could have taken the morning off, or come in late, in
order to take you to school, but I figured it would be better to have you back
in your regular routine as quickly as possible. However, I am kind of
regretting that choice now! I wish I had been able to walk you to school this
morning, just you and me, having one last chat about all of the exciting stuff
you would learn and do this year. I wish I had taken one last opportunity to
hold your hand and reassure you that, despite being nervous and anxious about a
new year, with a new teacher (actually two new teachers, and even a new
Principal and Vice Principal!), you would be okay, and you would have fun, and
you would get back into the swing of things shortly.
My big girl – you have grown so much and so
fast, that sometimes it’s hard for me to remember that you are still ONLY 5
(and a half), and that you have so many big emotions that you may not always
know how to handle (heck, I am 34 – and a half – and I have big emotions I
can’t handle sometimes!) School, and all of the related anxieties that come
along with it – friends, teachers, school-work, routines, being independent –
can be hard to manage for someone who is so thoughtful and sensitive and
observant. I know you were nervous last year, but that vanished quickly and you
absolutely THRIVED in JK. I know the same will happen this year – hopefully
even today! I am guessing by the end of the week you’ll have remembered why you
love school so much, and you’ll be begging to go, even on the weekends.
I do wish that the last few days of your
summer break haven’t been filled with such anxiety from you – your father and I
have done the best we could to dissuade your fears, reassure you that your
feelings were normal, encourage you to always continue talking to us no matter
what… but it still breaks my heart a bit that instead of enjoying your last
week of summer vacation, you’ve been lying awake at night, in tears, in nervous
anticipation of what lay ahead this week.
There were no tears this morning when I got
you settled in the before school program, though. Brave, through and through,
you fought valiantly to show me that you would be okay. And I thank you.
Because *I* might have shed a few tears in the car on the way to work on your
behalf. Especially when I realized I forgot to pack you a fork for your
spaghetti lunch. Getting back into normal routines can be tough on all of us :)
No matter what though, I am so immensely
proud of the smart, talented, creative, beautiful girl you have become and I
can’t wait to see what this exciting year holds for you!
Mama
P.S. By the time I got home for dinner, you were back to being excited and loving school and said that you can't wait to go back tomorrow :)
