Dear Mercedes,
It’s official – you’re a teenager! (And yes, that means that
I am old enough to have a teenager.) When I think back to the days and weeks
leading up to your birth, I remember both a sense of excitement and nervous
anticipation. I had no idea what I was getting into, but I knew I was excited
to take on the challenge of becoming a mother – becoming YOUR mother. I feel
much the same now. I know there will be rough times ahead for us all –
teenagers are meant to be difficult. You’ll straddle the line between kid and
adult, test boundaries, push me away and then pull me close. Because you are
our first, we really have no idea what parenting a teenager is like (except for
those foggy memories we have of actually being teenagers – the confusion
and heartache and uncertainty and feeling of being WAY smarter than your
parents). But we do know you – we know how funny and smart you are. We know your
quick wit and your devotion to your friends. We know your sensitive heart and
the way you cry at movies (no idea where you got that trait from). We
know how proud we are to be your parents, and that you are our greatest
experiment.
For now, you are happy to be with me – you frequently want
to snuggle while we binge-watch tv shows, you like reading with me after your
siblings go to bed. And I’m trying my hardest to hold on for dear life because I
know that can change in an instant. You will pull away. You will be gone more
than you are here. If anything, I’m grateful to Covid for delaying the inevitable.
But I do hope that you always remember that no matter what, I’m immensely proud
to be your mom. I hope you remember that I will always, always be here for you –
to listen, to vent to, to offer advice, to give you a ride out of a sticky
situation, to be your out when you’re pressured to do something you don’t want
to do, to send funny TikTok videos to, to be your shopping buddy.
So be kind to me, my newly-minted teenager, as I wax
nostalgic about the days when you wouldn’t let me out of your sight, and needed
to sleep beside me, and were fully dependent on me. I’m so proud to see you
spread your wings and learn to be your own mini-adult. But I’ll be ever so
thankful if you continue to let me walk beside you as you grow.
Love,
Mum
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