Lexi - Happy 14th Birthday!

At 5:22 this morning, on 5/22, you turned 14! And I can’t help but reflect on how amazing this past year has been for you. Grade 7 was pretty rough (lots of anxiety and social/school avoidance), but you’ve worked SO hard to learn how to cope and overcome those challenges. We couldn’t be prouder – and your hard work was never more evident than this morning, when I dropped you and your brother off at school early for the annual Grade 7/8 field trip downtown (St. Lawrence Market, a Blue Jays game, and a trip to the Eaton Centre for the Grade 8s). Last year, you never made it on this trip – too worried about being far from home, nervous about the crowds downtown and at the game, scared of having a panic attack with no escape route. It was heartbreaking. And today, your only fear is that somehow you’ll end up on the Jumbotron in honour of your birthday (which would be a dream come true for your mother!).

I am in awe of how much you’ve grown and changed over this past year, how well you’ve handled all of the changes and stress that finishing elementary school brings, and how you’re very bravely getting ready to face graduation and starting high school. You have amazing friends who truly let you be yourself, and I love seeing you smiling and happy when you talk about them and school and your plans for the summer and your future.

And despite how you’ve gotten slightly more introverted and quieter as you’ve gotten older, you’ve never lost that truly unique Lexi spark. We always joked that you knew you were a middle child before we did, and all of those fantastic Middle Kid qualities are still shining bright – strong opinions (very, very strong), unique spirit, fierce independence. We are so incredibly proud of the young woman you are growing into and feel so lucky that we get to be by your side. I can’t wait to see what 14 holds for you!

Love you lots,

Mummy

Mercedes - Happy Sweet 16!

Dear Mercedes,

Sixteen is hard to fathom, but also not, because you’ve changed and matured so much over the past year. It’s been a big one - really settling into high school, figuring out what interests you most, joining the gym, amazing concerts (hello, Taylor Swift - best night of our lives!), first love, amazing friendships and experiences - I’m so thrilled to watch the rest of your life unfold in front of you. It won’t always be easy, there will be challenges that you’ll face - but I can tell by how much you’ve grown that you’ll face them head on with resilience and strength, because that’s just the kind of person you are. And no matter what, I will always be there to walk beside you.

It’s a special thing when your kids actually become your friends. I absolutely (sometimes) miss the early days of our life together - especially when it was just you and me on my first maternity leave. We did lots of snuggling and playdating and adventuring and watching endless reruns of Third Watch. In some ways, we grew up together since I was still in my 20s when you were born! And I loved seeing the wonder of the world through your eyes. But now… now is something special. I still get to watch with amazement as you become more independent and resourceful, and witness you figuring out your path in life - but I also get to hang out with someone that always makes me laugh. Whether we’re going for a drive and singing loudly in the car, or snuggling on the couch watching a sad movie and crying, or finishing each other’s song lyrics in the kitchen, or laughing at your father’s ridiculous jokes… there’s basically nothing that makes me happier than experiencing joy with you by my side. 

Thank you for being you. Thank you for making me a mom. Thank you for forgiving my mistakes. Thank you for always remembering that I’ve got your back. Thank you for being honest with me. Thank you for letting me into your life. And thank you, thank you, thank you for being the person that you are. I couldn’t be prouder.

Love,

Mum (aka Bruh)

Holden - Happy 12th Birthday!

Dear Holden,

Only one more year until I officially have three teenagers! Maybe it’s because you're the last, but sometimes it feels like you already are one - there’s a bit of moodiness, a lot of quiet, a lot of time spent in your room, a lot of time online with your friends. And then on the flipside, you’re always going to be the baby (not A baby, but MY baby), and it’s hard not to want to wrap you up and keep you that way forever. So while the moments that we spend together seem to be fewer and further between these days, I treasure every single one of them. Playing a board game, watching X-files or a disaster movie, making you food (this is one of those constant things these days), giving you a hug, answering your very formal, very polite text messages… even when quiet and reserved, you’re still a joy to be around.

And then, the moments that truly make my heart swell… when I hear you laughing uproariously in your room while you’re gaming with your friends. Your father and I can’t help but smile and giggle when we hear you so energetically, enthusiastically having a blast with your buddies. I wish we saw more of that laughter with us on a daily basis, but it makes me truly happy to know you’ve got a great group of friends around you who make you feel included and loved and joyful. 

You’re doing well in school and your teacher says you are well-rounded, on task, and a quiet leader and example for your peers, which is all that I can ask for. I tell you all frequently that I don’t care about straight As or the best marks - I just want to see that you make your best effort and that you approach life with kindness. And while maybe some more of that kindness could extend to your sisters, I’m thrilled that at the very least, your classmates, teachers, and friends get to benefit from the sweet young man you’re growing up to be. And when I say growing up, I mean it - it feels like every day when I hug you goodbye, you’re getting closer and closer to being taller than me. It won’t be long now, and while I sometimes mourn the days when I could tuck you under my chin, I am so excited to see what the next crazy few years hold for you - including official teenagerhood and high school, eek!

Keep being you my Holders - we love you to the moon and back and couldn’t be prouder to be your parents.

Love,

Mama

First Day of School - Grades 7, 8 and 10!

Dear not-so-small children,

Well, that summer flew by! Today I sent you all off to another school year - grades 7, 8, and 10. I remember the days when getting ready for the first day of school was such a production. All of the labeling, taking time off to walk you all, tears from everyone amidst the chaos in the school yard. And now you just… pack your bags and leave! It’s certainly easier on me, but a little bittersweet that you’re all so grown up. This year means both Holden and Lexi are intermediate division and will end up doing quite a few activities and field trips together. And of course, my sweet middle graduates and gets ready to join her big sister at the high school next year, where Mercedes will already be half done by then!

I know there isn’t the same level of excitement about back to school as there used to be, but I know you will all do great things this year. And I couldn’t have asked for a better summer to spend with you all. Our cottage vacation was perfection - I’ll cherish those memories of sleeping in, coffee on the dock, watching your ‘Olympics’ games in the water, sunsets over the water, peacefully kayaking out to Blueberry Island on calm, hot days, watching Olympics, smores, playing pool, dancing and singing, feeding the chipmunk family, watching scary movies, swimming, swimming, and more swimming. It was an absolutely beautiful week with you all. And we had other adventures this summer too of course - family dinners, and Wasaga Beach, and movies, and endless rounds of shopping. 

Just like back to school, summers used to be more hectic - there was the constant juggle of camp and me and your father alternating time off, and Camp Bubie and Zaidie, and trying to find things to entertain you. And now… you all just do your own thing. As long as we drive you places, give you money, and provide endless quantities of food (mostly snacks), then you were totally fine. Which meant I actually got a relaxing summer too. Of course, I was still working most of the time, but I got to sleep in, didn’t need to make anyone’s lunch, and never had to bug someone about their homework or going to bed. So part of me is sad to see that relaxing summer come to an end, but I am thrilled about us all getting back to routine (and slightly earlier bedtimes!) and excited to see where this pivotal school year takes you all. 

Counting down the hours until dismissal,

Mama

Lexi - Happy 13th Birthday!

Dear Lexi,

Happy 13th birthday to my now official teenager! When you were younger, we were always able to mark the actual moment of your birth (5:22 on 5/22) but those were the days when you all woke up ridiculously early - so thankfully that’s changed! Now you’re the one who sleeps in the most, by far! It’s always so surreal celebrating all of your birthdays, but the milestone ones especially evoke a lot of emotion in me. I remember being supremely pregnant with you, in a very hot week just like this year (May in Ontario is never a guarantee!) and I can vividly recall the night before you were born. Your grandparents came to pick up Mercedes, I waddled around the neighbourhood very slowly (early contractions) with your father, we watched an entire season of Californication (on DVD!) while I bounced on Auntie Kimmy’s exercise ball, we had friends over and hung out in the backyard (yes, still contracting). Until finally, finally, after all of that waiting, you emerged in a very fast, very tiny, very angry fury early in the morning. You were small but mighty - squeaky and delicate, but also made it very clear from day one exactly what you wanted and what your opinions were.

And that hasn’t changed. You are still stubborn and independent and opinionated in all the best ways (even if those ways sometimes drive me crazy), but thankfully you also still laugh at our jokes (even your father’s stupid Dad jokes), let me give you hugs, want to sit beside me whenever we’re out, and share your heart (grudgingly) when I pester you. This past year has been challenging for you in some ways, but I’m so grateful that we have the kind of relationship that means you’ll actually let us in, and let us help you. There’s nothing we want more than to see you flourish - and I have no doubt that you will continue to do so with your typical Lexi flair. 

So while you are so teenager in many ways - the fake nails, the makeup, the TikTok, the cocooning in your room, the attitude that comes out of nowhere, you’re also still my sweet little Lexi-Lou - affectionate and smart and funny and sweet as can be (case in point, the heartfelt cards you always write me that bring me to happy tears). We’re so proud of how brave and wonderful and beautiful you are, inside and out, and can’t wait to see what your teenage years hold for you (because I’m sure there will be more grey hairs for me!).

Love you forever,

Mama

Happy 15th Birthday Mercedes!

Dear Mercedes,

How has an entire decade and a half passed by in the blink of an eye? It seems so difficult to remember you as a small baby (although there are certain things you never forget, like how clingy you were, the terrible sleep, the awful bouts of teething, the overwhelming feeling of never really knowing what we were doing), but also, it seems unfathomable to me that you’re in your second semester of high school, picking grade 10 courses already, becoming more and more independent, boyfriends and volunteering and new friends and taking accountability for yourself in ways that make me so proud. You handled all of your assignments in your first semester with ease, and while we don’t know your final marks yet, they will be good - you managed deadlines and studied for tests and showed up for yourself in ways that you didn’t always through the tumultuous final years of elementary school (thanks Covid). A year ago, you never would have taken it upon yourself to talk to the guidance office about your courses, but a few weeks ago, you casually mentioned at dinner that you actually wanted to switch your geography class for a different section to avoid some uncomfortable drama with ‘friends’ - and you’d already made an appointment with the office and handled it all yourself! These small moments may seem so insignificant to you, but they are stark reminders of the fact that you’re growing up to be a confident, self-aware, empowered young woman - and I couldn’t be more thrilled to see it. Now if I could just get you to do your own laundry, that would be great.

So of course we’re proud of you for all of those little things, but above all else, I’m just so thankful that I get to be your mom and walk beside you as you continue to learn and grow. I actually LIKE spending time with you. I love going for drives and blasting Taylor Swift, and hearing about your friends and what’s happening at school and biting my tongue when some boy plays with your feelings. I love that you feel comfortable enough to tell me about the big things and the little things alike, and that you actually want to spend time with me too. It’s a privilege and an honour to watch you grow older - and while I try real hard not to think about the fact that in a few years you could potentially move out, I also know that if/when that happens, you’ll be more than just fine. You will thrive, in whatever you put your mind to.

Love you bunches Shmeecee.

Mum (aka Bruh)

Happy 11th Birthday Holden!

Dear Molden the Bolden,

11! Last year felt big, because well, double digits. But this year feels like we’re marching even further into pre-teen territory and it’s a bit scary for me! I know how to deal with pre-teen/teenager girls, because I was one. But dealing with boy hormones and issues? Uncharted waters here. I can see some of the changes happening - the desire for more privacy, the reluctance to talk about certain things, the moodiness. But you’re still on the cusp of it all, so you also still love to snuggle on the couch under a blanket while we watch a movie and hug me goodnight. I’m holding on to whatever ‘little boy’ you have left in you while I can, while also relishing in how much more mature you are growing, right before my eyes.

You’re still the coolest gamer I know (even teaching your big sister how to play Fortnite), and you take great care of your fish and the cats. You do well in school and your teacher had great things to say about your quiet maturity in class, and how you’re truly a well-rounded kind of kid, which I am so proud of. I’m just proud of all of it. I love your sense of humor and your hair and your freckles and your appetite and how you kiss all the cats goodnight and laugh at your father’s terrible jokes and roll your eyes while we serenade you with Taylor Swift. You’re such a delight, and you always have been, and I can’t wait to see what this next year and beyond has in store for my special boy. 

Happy Birthday once again, to the best Christmas surprise we’ve ever gotten.

Love,

Mum