Dear Alexis,
You seem to be maturing and changing and learning so much - right before our eyes. You now say a few words - hi (while waving), bye (while waving), eye (while poking your right eye), mama, dada, tickle (complete with tickle motions on your belly), dat (while pointing)... you also love to brush your (non-existent) hair, try to put on your shoes, turn the pages in a book when I tell you to, give big squishy hugs and slimy kisses, give Duke his toys, splash in the bathtub and mercilessly bug your big sister. You are so sweet and funny and feisty and stubborn, all at the same time. You walk every where now and LOVE climbing things and getting into trouble.
So while all of this makes you seem older and bigger, to me, you are still my sweet little baby - so it's hard to imagine that our breastfeeding relationship is already coming to an end. I know that if I wasn't pregnant, it wouldn't be, and that makes it that much harder for me to swallow (hello, can we say Mommy Guilt to the extreme??). The same thing happened with your sister at around the same point in my pregnancy with you - but of course Mercedes was already nearly 22 months old. At only 14 months you seem much too little and dependent to wean - but alas, it appears that is what is happening. A loss in supply is leaving you disinterested and me in pain - and the one thing I know about extended (or any) breastfeeding relationship, is that it needs to work for both mother and baby.
I won't lie, I shed some tears last night after putting you to bed, because I'm pretty sure that was one of our last sessions, and it wasn't the most fun to be honest. But the night before you woke up at 4 am (something you hadn't done in a while) and I went in to your room and snuggled you in the dark and nursed you until you were quiet and calm and drowsy. That's the picture I'll remember - your sweet-smelling downy hair, your soft little hand stroking my chest, your eyes fluttering closed. I'm sorry that this chapter in our lives has come to an end already - I'll most definitely miss it - but I have to remind myself that a) you'll be just fine b) we've given each other a wonderful gift for 14 months and c) you are getting another sibling to love and torture out of the deal!
Love always,
Momma
Tuesday 31 July 2012
Thursday 5 July 2012
Alexis - 13 Months Old
Dear Alexis,
You walk! Yay! It's not consistent (i.e. you don't walk more than you crawl, yet) but you CAN do it, and quite well when you set your mind to it. Watching your little tiny feet propel your small chubby body across the room, and seeing how proud you are when you do it - well, it's pretty darn amazing.
You also have discovered how much fun it is to CLIMB things, which gives your father and I heart attacks daily - finding you standing on a stool trying to reach whatever is on the counter is not fun (for us anyway). But I'm glad to see how adventurous and curious you are - I know it's the age of discovery, I just want you to discover safely please ;)
Love,
Momma
ETA: Less than a week after I wrote this, you are definitely, officially a walker. You practiced all weekend and now you toddle around like a drunk zombie ALL day long. It's awesome.
You walk! Yay! It's not consistent (i.e. you don't walk more than you crawl, yet) but you CAN do it, and quite well when you set your mind to it. Watching your little tiny feet propel your small chubby body across the room, and seeing how proud you are when you do it - well, it's pretty darn amazing.
You also have discovered how much fun it is to CLIMB things, which gives your father and I heart attacks daily - finding you standing on a stool trying to reach whatever is on the counter is not fun (for us anyway). But I'm glad to see how adventurous and curious you are - I know it's the age of discovery, I just want you to discover safely please ;)
Love,
Momma
ETA: Less than a week after I wrote this, you are definitely, officially a walker. You practiced all weekend and now you toddle around like a drunk zombie ALL day long. It's awesome.
Dear Peanut #3 - 14 Weeks Pregnant
So I may need to rename this blog, seeing as it's called "Letters to My Daughters" and I don't know if you'll be one of those...but...
Welcome to the family! We were 'slightly' surprised to find out that you were on the way, but once the shock (mostly) wore off, your father and I were thrilled. Anxious about money and logistics and time and all of those 'adult' worries, but not for a second worried about how you'd fit into our family and how much you would be loved. As we learned when Alexis was born, your love for your children multiplies, not divides. And now that Alexis and Mercedes are a bit older, we can see how much they love each other and how nicely (usually) they play together. We can't wait to see how you fit into the equation and to experience life with our three beautiful children. We feel so lucky that we've been so blessed. And as someone said to me recently when I panicked about having a third child (3 kids in 4 years is going to be HARD!) - "there is a reason that tiny souls keep finding you - you were meant to be a mother" and I really feel that it's true. I always wanted to be a mother, despite how difficult it is. But with great effort comes great reward, and when I see the lovely girls that your sisters are growing up to be I feel like I must be doing something right.
So no matter how much money three kids will cost, or how stressful a very young family might be, or how utterly exhausted your father and I will surely be, I will relish every moment of this (for real, my FINAL) pregnancy and every moment with you beyond that. I can't wait to meet you, and to welcome you into our sweet little family.
Love,
Momma
Welcome to the family! We were 'slightly' surprised to find out that you were on the way, but once the shock (mostly) wore off, your father and I were thrilled. Anxious about money and logistics and time and all of those 'adult' worries, but not for a second worried about how you'd fit into our family and how much you would be loved. As we learned when Alexis was born, your love for your children multiplies, not divides. And now that Alexis and Mercedes are a bit older, we can see how much they love each other and how nicely (usually) they play together. We can't wait to see how you fit into the equation and to experience life with our three beautiful children. We feel so lucky that we've been so blessed. And as someone said to me recently when I panicked about having a third child (3 kids in 4 years is going to be HARD!) - "there is a reason that tiny souls keep finding you - you were meant to be a mother" and I really feel that it's true. I always wanted to be a mother, despite how difficult it is. But with great effort comes great reward, and when I see the lovely girls that your sisters are growing up to be I feel like I must be doing something right.
So no matter how much money three kids will cost, or how stressful a very young family might be, or how utterly exhausted your father and I will surely be, I will relish every moment of this (for real, my FINAL) pregnancy and every moment with you beyond that. I can't wait to meet you, and to welcome you into our sweet little family.
Love,
Momma
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