Holden - 38 Weeks Pregnant

Dear Holden,

Oops - much like I've been neglecting your big sisters' side of this journal, I've also not had a chance to write to you. I apologize - your sisters, my job, pregnancy exhaustion and of course, selling/packing/moving an entire household has taken up a LOT of time and energy.

But rest assured, despite being the third baby, you are far from forgotten! You, my little trouble-maker, make your presence known EVERY day, believe me! This pregnancy has been SO different from my other two - boy versus girls? Or am I finally getting old? Or maybe it's just you wanting to be sure that you don't get lost in the shuffle of three kids under four :p There has been illness after illness (in me!), heart palpitations, debilitating carpal tunnel in my right wrist, aches and pains and sleepless nights like I've never experienced before. You'd better be a REALLY good sleeper after all of this! And then you gave us a nice scare this week - I had a midwife appointment on Tuesday and they decided that you were NO longer head down! Which is problematic for a variety of reasons. So after a sleepless night and visions of external versions and emergency c-sections and cord prolapse we headed to the hospital to have an ultrasound and consult with an OB. But good news - you are back headed in the right direction and the OB felt very confident that everything is all systems go for a 'normal' birth. Yay! I think maybe you were just jealous that I had so many ultrasounds with your sisters and you wanted to be seen on the big screen again. It was nice to see you again, I must admit - and confirm that you are most definitely still a boy!

And now - we wait! I'd like you to arrive BEFORE Christmas, because I'd hate for my beautiful little boy to be overshadowed by all of that holiday excitement... but it's creeping closer and closer and despite having regular contractions for two weeks now, there is still no real sign of your impending arrival! We are getting very impatient because we ALL want to meet you. And everyone is on pins and needles wondering if Bubie and Zaidie will get here in time to watch your sisters, if the weather will hold up, how long your arrival will take, etc. I'm trying to just enjoy these last days of pregnancy - of our special time alone, just my little boy and his mama, because we'll never be alone again I think! I know how miraculous pregnancy is, and I will miss my belly and feeling your jabs and pokes and hiccups and rolls. But I can't wait to meet you and see who you look like and how your sisters will dote on you and what sort of personality you'll have. So, just come on out already - you have no idea how lucky you are to have so many people who love you already, sight unseen.

Love,

Mama