Goodbye Vinny - 13 months old

Last Saturday, June 5^th, we had to say goodbye to a big piece of our hearts. To say we are all still reeling is an understatement. Life goes on, and we get up and eat breakfast and go to school/work and make jokes at the dinner table and laugh as a family – but I know from (unfortunately way too much) experience that this pain will exist for a long time. Sometimes on the surface, with tears and angry outbursts, but more often a quiet undercurrent of grief – these brief hitches where you call a cat the wrong name, or tell people you have three cats instead of two, or look for the little face that should be there when you do something he was always involved in. 

I miss the way he’d paw at the shower door, or how he’d beg for me to pick him up and hold him like a baby. I miss the way he’d immediately flop into a snuggle if you picked him up, “purr mode activated” as Holden would say, complete with happy little chirps. I miss the way Diesel would call for him and he’d instantly perk up out of a dead sleep and go running so they could play. Now Diesel calls for him and no one answers but us, which clearly isn’t good enough for him. I miss the way he’d calmly wait for you to put his harness on so he could go safely explore the backyard, and I miss the way he’d hold your face with his paws for kisses (or love bites for Daddy). I miss how much he’d struggle to get under the covers and would scratch at my shoulders in the middle of the night so I could roll out the red carpet for snuggles. I miss how goofy and silly he was – never climbing cat trees properly but doing disastrously uncoordinated pull-ups instead, and trying to fit through the space between the blinds to see out the window; stretching and reaching out his paws to touch you but always missing, or crawling into his little bed and then flipping it over and not seeming to care. I miss his silly sideways hops and how he’d stand on his hind legs as a kitten to make himself look bigger to Diesel (despite the fact that he very quickly grew bigger than this big brother). I miss how soft and downy and chubby he was, with his crooked right eye and his big belly and his furry eyebrows.

We got Vinny at a time when most people were getting new pets – pandemic pets for everyone. How ironic then, that he died due to complications from a coronavirus while we are still on lockdown from Covid-19. We only had nine months with our sweet guy and it will always be shocking to me that we didn’t get more. His spark and his charm will never be forgotten. He was such a bright light in our lives and my heart aches every day thinking about the hole his loss leaves in our family. I’ve lost pets before, in various ways, and it’s always horrible. But Bruiser and Vinny were something special – sweet and funny and goofy and eternally loving – and it’s just not fair that they both left us so suddenly, and so young. We never have enough time with our pets, I know this – but we should have had much, much more with both of them. Of course, that won’t stop us from dusting ourselves off and continuing to open our home and our hearts to more animals – because that’s who we are and that’s what makes us feel complete.

Goodbye sweet Baby Schmoops – I’m so sorry we couldn’t do more for you.

Love,

Mama