Holden - Happy 10th Birthday!

Dear Holden,

It’s crazy to me that 11 years ago we had no idea we would ever have another baby, and then one year later, there you were, completing our family in the best way possible. You, with your thick, curly hair and amazing freckles and cute little nose and gap-toothed grin and quirky sense of humour, remain to this day the best Christmas surprise anyone could have ever asked for. You are everything we never knew we always wanted – complete with armpit farts and penis jokes and loud burps at the table and the best laugh I’ve ever heard when you don’t know we’re listening.

It's hard to believe that you are already 10 years old – for starters, I don’t feel old enough to have been a parent to three for an entire decade, but also, it’s hard to fathom how quickly time flies and how much you’ve grown in the past year. You walk back and forth to school alone, you hang out with your friends (ok, mostly online but whatever), you spend a LOT of time in your room (again, online with your friends), you have the best computer set-up in the house, you are a Fortnite expert, schoolwork seems to come easily to you, you have no problem helping yourself to a giant bowl of cereal at any time of the day… you’re growing up right before our eyes and it’s sad and scary and wonderful to see, all at the same time.

But no matter what, I’m so unbelievably proud of the boy you are turning into and can’t wait to see the man you will eventually become. I have no doubt you will continue being funny and smart and quirky and loving – just maybe try to be a *bit* nicer to your sisters (or like, acknowledge their presence when you see them at school, please).

Love you forever and ever,

Mama

Lexi - Happy 11th Birthday!

 Dear Lexi,

ELEVEN! It’s hard to believe that we’re that much closer to teenager-hood with our second baby but seeing how much you have changed over the past year, I really shouldn’t be that surprised. Truthfully, I’m not sure I’m entirely on board with all of these changes, but I know I have to continue to step back and let you discover your own tastes and assert your own opinions (something which you have never had a problem with truthfully!). Gone is my little girl who chose clothes that were super-patterned and bright and colourful (i.e. the louder, the better). Instead, you’re much more focused on what’s in style and what looks good together – opting usually now for more muted colours like your big sister. You two are basically the same size so you share clothes (which is lovely, except that I’m still somehow buying two of everything). I still see elements of your old self come through though, like your pink converse shoes instead of the very standard black that every other tween/teen is wearing these days. And of course, you still do love your stuffies (much as I try to encourage you to pack some away), and you are still the best hugger around.

But you, much like your siblings, are more often in your room, less likely to want to snuggle. You’ve mostly given up on animated/kids movies, and love watching horror films with your father. You like hanging out with your friends, and watching YouTube, and reading in your room. It’s fun to watch you grow and change, see your personality continue to develop, learn more about the person you are becoming. You are a perfectionist – and insist on always finishing all of your homework immediately, striving to do the best job that you can. You get more frustrated with assignments that are a bit more abstract, with no right or wrong answer (despite the aforementioned love of asserting your opinion, somehow it doesn’t translate into your schoolwork!) – but you have a real knack for things that are more black and white, with a clear right or wrong answer. You are still the best at arguing your point (Lawyer Lexi) and once you focus on something, you FOCUS.

I love watching you grow and change, but please, please don’t lose ALL of those quirks and obsessions (yes, maybe even the stuffies!) that make you the funny, feisty little Lexi you’ve always been. Regardless, we love you more than you’ll ever know and are so proud of the person you are.

 

Love,

Mama

Mercedes - Happy 13th Birthday!

Dear Mercedes,

It’s official – you’re a teenager! (And yes, that means that I am old enough to have a teenager.) When I think back to the days and weeks leading up to your birth, I remember both a sense of excitement and nervous anticipation. I had no idea what I was getting into, but I knew I was excited to take on the challenge of becoming a mother – becoming YOUR mother. I feel much the same now. I know there will be rough times ahead for us all – teenagers are meant to be difficult. You’ll straddle the line between kid and adult, test boundaries, push me away and then pull me close. Because you are our first, we really have no idea what parenting a teenager is like (except for those foggy memories we have of actually being teenagers – the confusion and heartache and uncertainty and feeling of being WAY smarter than your parents). But we do know you – we know how funny and smart you are. We know your quick wit and your devotion to your friends. We know your sensitive heart and the way you cry at movies (no idea where you got that trait from). We know how proud we are to be your parents, and that you are our greatest experiment.

For now, you are happy to be with me – you frequently want to snuggle while we binge-watch tv shows, you like reading with me after your siblings go to bed. And I’m trying my hardest to hold on for dear life because I know that can change in an instant. You will pull away. You will be gone more than you are here. If anything, I’m grateful to Covid for delaying the inevitable. But I do hope that you always remember that no matter what, I’m immensely proud to be your mom. I hope you remember that I will always, always be here for you – to listen, to vent to, to offer advice, to give you a ride out of a sticky situation, to be your out when you’re pressured to do something you don’t want to do, to send funny TikTok videos to, to be your shopping buddy.

So be kind to me, my newly-minted teenager, as I wax nostalgic about the days when you wouldn’t let me out of your sight, and needed to sleep beside me, and were fully dependent on me. I’m so proud to see you spread your wings and learn to be your own mini-adult. But I’ll be ever so thankful if you continue to let me walk beside you as you grow.

Love,

Mum