Mercedes - Happy 17th Birthday!

Dear Mercedes,

Happy 17^th Birthday! On a cold Friday the 13^th much like today, you made your dramatic entrance into this world, and truthfully the (delightful) drama hasn’t stopped since! It makes me feel incredibly old to be the mother of a 17-year-old, but you also keep me perpetually young at heart. Nothing fills my cup more than driving in the car with you, windows down, singing along to loud music, cracking jokes, laughing together, sharing gossip. I know that everyone LOVES their kids. And I do, I love you so incredibly much. But I also actually really LIKE you. Hanging out, laughing, shopping, going to concerts, snuggling and watching tv or crying at sad movies while sharing chocolate… it’s really some of the best moments of my life.

They say that teenagers pull away a bit as they get older – soon enough you’ll be moving out, off to spread your wings at university as a young adult and figure out your place in this world. And I do feel it a bit – especially now that you have your ultimate freedom in the form of a driver’s licence. You don’t need me as much, you have an active social life, we don’t have as many opportunities to hang out… and I’m ok with it, because I know it’s the way it’s supposed to be, and I absolutely love seeing your independence flourish. But I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t make a little sad that I don’t get to see your beautiful face as often. So please, life your live, enjoy having probably the most perfect adolescence in history – but also, don’t forget your dear old mom. Don’t forget about our concert adventures and movie dates and Taylor Swift and our summer drives – even if you don’t *need* me to drive you around anymore, I still *need* you, kiddo.

I can’t wait to see what this next year holds for you – your last year of ‘kid’ and your launching pad to university and beyond. I just know it’s going to be awesome, just like you.

Love,

Mum

Holden - Happy 13th Birthday!

Dear Holden,

Today, you are officially a teenager (despite you feeling like one for a while now)! I can so vividly remember all of your earlier milestones – the day we found out about your impending arrival, the day you were born, the first time your big sisters saw you, your first day of school… and now here you are, growing into this amazing young man (who happens to be taller than me), graduating elementary school and choosing your classes for your first year of high school next year.

In some ways, you are much more independent than your sisters – just by nature of being the third kid. There are some people who say third kids tend to raise themselves, and I can see it – we’re definitely more lax about some of the rules, you have lots of freedom to roam the neighbourhood with your friends, etc. But then in some ways, of course, you’re still my baby (and always will be, no matter how deep your voice gets or how much facial hair you have). But in any case, it’s such a joy watching you grow. You’re polite (especially in your oddly formal text messages, which always crack me up), and respectful (including at school), and smart, and kind. You also love a good fart joke and laughing when we tease your sisters, and you can get VERY competitive at any sort of games. Most of all, I love seeing you interact with your friends. You have an awesome core group of kids who are all well-mannered and sweet, and treat each other with compassion, which I appreciate so much. 

I am so excited for the rest of this year ahead for you – Grade 8 trips and graduation and even more freedom as you prepare for high school next year. It’s hard to believe it’s happened so fast, but I know you are more than ready to face life and new responsibilities and freedoms head-on. And no matter what, we are here to walk with you through any challenges that you may face.

Happy birthday to the best Christmas present we’ve ever had. 

Love,

Mum

Happy End of School & Grade 8 Grad!

Another school year has come and gone, and it brings with it some pretty significant milestones. Holden, you’re now entering your last year of elementary school (and your TENTH and final year at Hewitt’s Creek). Mercedes, you are now officially halfway through high school (how on earth did that happen so quickly). And Lexi, you are now a shiny new graduate (with honours), and ready for high school in the Fall.

I couldn’t be prouder of all three of you. There’s been great report cards, lots of learning, exciting field trips, awards given, friends and parties and social lives… I love the good grades of course, but mostly I’m so thrilled at how well-rounded you all are. Kind, considerate, inquisitive, dedicated, but still able to have fun and enjoy all of the great things that your schools and this awesome neighbourhood and community have to offer.

Mercedes, I am so excited to watch you figuring out what you potentially want to do with the rest of your life (as of now, leaning towards Pediatric Occupational Therapy) and then doing the research and working backwards to ensure you can make it happen with the right prerequisites over the next two years. You’ve gotten your first real job (yay McDonald’s), joined a gym, and made some new friends, all while navigating your first serious relationship and keeping your grades up. It’s a joy to watch you move through some of the hardest years of your life with grace and humour (and of course, there’s the truly wonderful fact that you still love spending time with me, which I will cherish for as long as it lasts!).

Holden, every day you seem to grow an inch and look more grown-up. But beyond physical changes, I love seeing you change - although your friendships haven’t changed much! But I absolutely love that you and your gang of buds have endured through many years of friendship and nothing makes me happier than hearing you laugh hysterically while you’re playing games online with them. Except maybe watching you speed off (safely!) on your scooter to roam the neighbourhood with those exact same kids. You’re independent and adventurous with them (going as far as the beach to watch the airshow, swimming at friends’ houses, buying food wherever you go, etc.) and it makes me so happy that you still have this completely normal aspect of childhood/pre-teen life. Your report card was great, sure, but even more thrilling is reading the comments from your teacher on what a great kid and peer you are (and the fact that you are being recognized with a character award at the last assembly of the year this week!).

And last but certainly not least, my honour-roll graduate. Lexi we could not be prouder of how you conquered this year, with all of its importance and significant transitions. Grade 7 was so hard for you, and it broke our hearts as we tried to figure out how best to help you cope with your anxiety. But you persevered and worked so damn hard - and Grade 8 was a roaring success. You made it to ALL of the field trips (including a two night overnight trip in the frozen north, and a very crowded downtown Toronto field trip). You chose your courses for next year, you had sleepovers with friends, you had the best time at grad (in an actual dress and heels!) with your friends. Your report card was great, and the honour roll is an impressive achievement - but watching you embrace friendships and your social life and make these memories in this pivotal final year of elementary school… nothing compares to that feeling of pride. We are overwhelmed with love and admiration for the person you’re growing up to be, and I can’t wait to see the adventures that await you in high school next year and beyond.

Congratulations to all of you - and I hope this summer is one of even more magical memories.

Love,

Mama

Lexi - Happy 14th Birthday!

At 5:22 this morning, on 5/22, you turned 14! And I can’t help but reflect on how amazing this past year has been for you. Grade 7 was pretty rough (lots of anxiety and social/school avoidance), but you’ve worked SO hard to learn how to cope and overcome those challenges. We couldn’t be prouder – and your hard work was never more evident than this morning, when I dropped you and your brother off at school early for the annual Grade 7/8 field trip downtown (St. Lawrence Market, a Blue Jays game, and a trip to the Eaton Centre for the Grade 8s). Last year, you never made it on this trip – too worried about being far from home, nervous about the crowds downtown and at the game, scared of having a panic attack with no escape route. It was heartbreaking. And today, your only fear is that somehow you’ll end up on the Jumbotron in honour of your birthday (which would be a dream come true for your mother!).

I am in awe of how much you’ve grown and changed over this past year, how well you’ve handled all of the changes and stress that finishing elementary school brings, and how you’re very bravely getting ready to face graduation and starting high school. You have amazing friends who truly let you be yourself, and I love seeing you smiling and happy when you talk about them and school and your plans for the summer and your future.

And despite how you’ve gotten slightly more introverted and quieter as you’ve gotten older, you’ve never lost that truly unique Lexi spark. We always joked that you knew you were a middle child before we did, and all of those fantastic Middle Kid qualities are still shining bright – strong opinions (very, very strong), unique spirit, fierce independence. We are so incredibly proud of the young woman you are growing into and feel so lucky that we get to be by your side. I can’t wait to see what 14 holds for you!

Love you lots,

Mummy

Mercedes - Happy Sweet 16!

Dear Mercedes,

Sixteen is hard to fathom, but also not, because you’ve changed and matured so much over the past year. It’s been a big one - really settling into high school, figuring out what interests you most, joining the gym, amazing concerts (hello, Taylor Swift - best night of our lives!), first love, amazing friendships and experiences - I’m so thrilled to watch the rest of your life unfold in front of you. It won’t always be easy, there will be challenges that you’ll face - but I can tell by how much you’ve grown that you’ll face them head on with resilience and strength, because that’s just the kind of person you are. And no matter what, I will always be there to walk beside you.

It’s a special thing when your kids actually become your friends. I absolutely (sometimes) miss the early days of our life together - especially when it was just you and me on my first maternity leave. We did lots of snuggling and playdating and adventuring and watching endless reruns of Third Watch. In some ways, we grew up together since I was still in my 20s when you were born! And I loved seeing the wonder of the world through your eyes. But now… now is something special. I still get to watch with amazement as you become more independent and resourceful, and witness you figuring out your path in life - but I also get to hang out with someone that always makes me laugh. Whether we’re going for a drive and singing loudly in the car, or snuggling on the couch watching a sad movie and crying, or finishing each other’s song lyrics in the kitchen, or laughing at your father’s ridiculous jokes… there’s basically nothing that makes me happier than experiencing joy with you by my side. 

Thank you for being you. Thank you for making me a mom. Thank you for forgiving my mistakes. Thank you for always remembering that I’ve got your back. Thank you for being honest with me. Thank you for letting me into your life. And thank you, thank you, thank you for being the person that you are. I couldn’t be prouder.

Love,

Mum (aka Bruh)

Holden - Happy 12th Birthday!

Dear Holden,

Only one more year until I officially have three teenagers! Maybe it’s because you're the last, but sometimes it feels like you already are one - there’s a bit of moodiness, a lot of quiet, a lot of time spent in your room, a lot of time online with your friends. And then on the flipside, you’re always going to be the baby (not A baby, but MY baby), and it’s hard not to want to wrap you up and keep you that way forever. So while the moments that we spend together seem to be fewer and further between these days, I treasure every single one of them. Playing a board game, watching X-files or a disaster movie, making you food (this is one of those constant things these days), giving you a hug, answering your very formal, very polite text messages… even when quiet and reserved, you’re still a joy to be around.

And then, the moments that truly make my heart swell… when I hear you laughing uproariously in your room while you’re gaming with your friends. Your father and I can’t help but smile and giggle when we hear you so energetically, enthusiastically having a blast with your buddies. I wish we saw more of that laughter with us on a daily basis, but it makes me truly happy to know you’ve got a great group of friends around you who make you feel included and loved and joyful. 

You’re doing well in school and your teacher says you are well-rounded, on task, and a quiet leader and example for your peers, which is all that I can ask for. I tell you all frequently that I don’t care about straight As or the best marks - I just want to see that you make your best effort and that you approach life with kindness. And while maybe some more of that kindness could extend to your sisters, I’m thrilled that at the very least, your classmates, teachers, and friends get to benefit from the sweet young man you’re growing up to be. And when I say growing up, I mean it - it feels like every day when I hug you goodbye, you’re getting closer and closer to being taller than me. It won’t be long now, and while I sometimes mourn the days when I could tuck you under my chin, I am so excited to see what the next crazy few years hold for you - including official teenagerhood and high school, eek!

Keep being you my Holders - we love you to the moon and back and couldn’t be prouder to be your parents.

Love,

Mama

First Day of School - Grades 7, 8 and 10!

Dear not-so-small children,

Well, that summer flew by! Today I sent you all off to another school year - grades 7, 8, and 10. I remember the days when getting ready for the first day of school was such a production. All of the labeling, taking time off to walk you all, tears from everyone amidst the chaos in the school yard. And now you just… pack your bags and leave! It’s certainly easier on me, but a little bittersweet that you’re all so grown up. This year means both Holden and Lexi are intermediate division and will end up doing quite a few activities and field trips together. And of course, my sweet middle graduates and gets ready to join her big sister at the high school next year, where Mercedes will already be half done by then!

I know there isn’t the same level of excitement about back to school as there used to be, but I know you will all do great things this year. And I couldn’t have asked for a better summer to spend with you all. Our cottage vacation was perfection - I’ll cherish those memories of sleeping in, coffee on the dock, watching your ‘Olympics’ games in the water, sunsets over the water, peacefully kayaking out to Blueberry Island on calm, hot days, watching Olympics, smores, playing pool, dancing and singing, feeding the chipmunk family, watching scary movies, swimming, swimming, and more swimming. It was an absolutely beautiful week with you all. And we had other adventures this summer too of course - family dinners, and Wasaga Beach, and movies, and endless rounds of shopping. 

Just like back to school, summers used to be more hectic - there was the constant juggle of camp and me and your father alternating time off, and Camp Bubie and Zaidie, and trying to find things to entertain you. And now… you all just do your own thing. As long as we drive you places, give you money, and provide endless quantities of food (mostly snacks), then you were totally fine. Which meant I actually got a relaxing summer too. Of course, I was still working most of the time, but I got to sleep in, didn’t need to make anyone’s lunch, and never had to bug someone about their homework or going to bed. So part of me is sad to see that relaxing summer come to an end, but I am thrilled about us all getting back to routine (and slightly earlier bedtimes!) and excited to see where this pivotal school year takes you all. 

Counting down the hours until dismissal,

Mama

Lexi - Happy 13th Birthday!

Dear Lexi,

Happy 13th birthday to my now official teenager! When you were younger, we were always able to mark the actual moment of your birth (5:22 on 5/22) but those were the days when you all woke up ridiculously early - so thankfully that’s changed! Now you’re the one who sleeps in the most, by far! It’s always so surreal celebrating all of your birthdays, but the milestone ones especially evoke a lot of emotion in me. I remember being supremely pregnant with you, in a very hot week just like this year (May in Ontario is never a guarantee!) and I can vividly recall the night before you were born. Your grandparents came to pick up Mercedes, I waddled around the neighbourhood very slowly (early contractions) with your father, we watched an entire season of Californication (on DVD!) while I bounced on Auntie Kimmy’s exercise ball, we had friends over and hung out in the backyard (yes, still contracting). Until finally, finally, after all of that waiting, you emerged in a very fast, very tiny, very angry fury early in the morning. You were small but mighty - squeaky and delicate, but also made it very clear from day one exactly what you wanted and what your opinions were.

And that hasn’t changed. You are still stubborn and independent and opinionated in all the best ways (even if those ways sometimes drive me crazy), but thankfully you also still laugh at our jokes (even your father’s stupid Dad jokes), let me give you hugs, want to sit beside me whenever we’re out, and share your heart (grudgingly) when I pester you. This past year has been challenging for you in some ways, but I’m so grateful that we have the kind of relationship that means you’ll actually let us in, and let us help you. There’s nothing we want more than to see you flourish - and I have no doubt that you will continue to do so with your typical Lexi flair. 

So while you are so teenager in many ways - the fake nails, the makeup, the TikTok, the cocooning in your room, the attitude that comes out of nowhere, you’re also still my sweet little Lexi-Lou - affectionate and smart and funny and sweet as can be (case in point, the heartfelt cards you always write me that bring me to happy tears). We’re so proud of how brave and wonderful and beautiful you are, inside and out, and can’t wait to see what your teenage years hold for you (because I’m sure there will be more grey hairs for me!).

Love you forever,

Mama

Happy 15th Birthday Mercedes!

Dear Mercedes,

How has an entire decade and a half passed by in the blink of an eye? It seems so difficult to remember you as a small baby (although there are certain things you never forget, like how clingy you were, the terrible sleep, the awful bouts of teething, the overwhelming feeling of never really knowing what we were doing), but also, it seems unfathomable to me that you’re in your second semester of high school, picking grade 10 courses already, becoming more and more independent, boyfriends and volunteering and new friends and taking accountability for yourself in ways that make me so proud. You handled all of your assignments in your first semester with ease, and while we don’t know your final marks yet, they will be good - you managed deadlines and studied for tests and showed up for yourself in ways that you didn’t always through the tumultuous final years of elementary school (thanks Covid). A year ago, you never would have taken it upon yourself to talk to the guidance office about your courses, but a few weeks ago, you casually mentioned at dinner that you actually wanted to switch your geography class for a different section to avoid some uncomfortable drama with ‘friends’ - and you’d already made an appointment with the office and handled it all yourself! These small moments may seem so insignificant to you, but they are stark reminders of the fact that you’re growing up to be a confident, self-aware, empowered young woman - and I couldn’t be more thrilled to see it. Now if I could just get you to do your own laundry, that would be great.

So of course we’re proud of you for all of those little things, but above all else, I’m just so thankful that I get to be your mom and walk beside you as you continue to learn and grow. I actually LIKE spending time with you. I love going for drives and blasting Taylor Swift, and hearing about your friends and what’s happening at school and biting my tongue when some boy plays with your feelings. I love that you feel comfortable enough to tell me about the big things and the little things alike, and that you actually want to spend time with me too. It’s a privilege and an honour to watch you grow older - and while I try real hard not to think about the fact that in a few years you could potentially move out, I also know that if/when that happens, you’ll be more than just fine. You will thrive, in whatever you put your mind to.

Love you bunches Shmeecee.

Mum (aka Bruh)

Happy 11th Birthday Holden!

Dear Molden the Bolden,

11! Last year felt big, because well, double digits. But this year feels like we’re marching even further into pre-teen territory and it’s a bit scary for me! I know how to deal with pre-teen/teenager girls, because I was one. But dealing with boy hormones and issues? Uncharted waters here. I can see some of the changes happening - the desire for more privacy, the reluctance to talk about certain things, the moodiness. But you’re still on the cusp of it all, so you also still love to snuggle on the couch under a blanket while we watch a movie and hug me goodnight. I’m holding on to whatever ‘little boy’ you have left in you while I can, while also relishing in how much more mature you are growing, right before my eyes.

You’re still the coolest gamer I know (even teaching your big sister how to play Fortnite), and you take great care of your fish and the cats. You do well in school and your teacher had great things to say about your quiet maturity in class, and how you’re truly a well-rounded kind of kid, which I am so proud of. I’m just proud of all of it. I love your sense of humor and your hair and your freckles and your appetite and how you kiss all the cats goodnight and laugh at your father’s terrible jokes and roll your eyes while we serenade you with Taylor Swift. You’re such a delight, and you always have been, and I can’t wait to see what this next year and beyond has in store for my special boy. 

Happy Birthday once again, to the best Christmas surprise we’ve ever gotten.

Love,

Mum

Happy End-of-School/Graduation!

It’s hard to believe that another school year has come and gone… and even more surprising than that, is that we now have a high-schooler on our hands! I think it’s probably only in hindsight that we can all recognize how truly special this past year was – for the first time since March of 2020, the school year felt… NORMAL (despite Covid hitting our household in February). There were no zones. There were no attendance restrictions. There were extracurricular activities and assemblies and field trips and hot lunches and the fun fair – which, much to my sadness/happiness, you all attended with your friends, and without your parents. I’m thrilled that it happened, excited you all wanted to experience it with your friends, but a little wistful that we’re not needed/welcomed in the same way anymore. I had no way of knowing that June 2019 would have been my last ever elementary school fun fair – but I’m glad that you were all able to be there with your besties.

And of course, there was a graduation. Mercedes, I’m so incredibly thankful that you were able to truly celebrate this occasion with joyful abandon. There was a beautiful dress and new shoes and nails and hair and even matching bracelets and flowers with your best friends. I’m grateful to the entire team of Grade 8 parents who were able to organize such an amazing after-party for you all – with décor and prizes and a DJ and food and a professional photographer (and even a food truck serving funnel cakes on pickup!). We’ve downloaded the pictures/videos now and because there were no phones allowed at the event, it’s clear how much you all just immersed yourself in the celebration. Singing and dancing and games and so many smiles it made me teary to watch. Some might say that Grade 8 grad isn’t much of an accomplishment, and it’s true, they don’t really hold anyone back anymore. But it’s still an important transition and marks the end of TEN years at this school. When we first moved to Barrie, we were very deliberate about which neighbourhoods we were looking at. We researched the subdivisions and their allocated schools and made a careful choice, knowing that we had no plans to move again while you were all in school. And now, you’ve done it – you started at HCPS a very shy, quiet, 4-year-old, and are leaving a much less shy, much less quiet 14-year-old. You have a great group of friends and have learned so much, and I’m so thankful to watch the way you’ve blossomed over the past few years. There’s a lot of anticipation around starting high school (especially at a state-of-the-art school that is only a few years old!) – more freedom, more new people to meet, but there’s also more pressure and more responsibility too. I have no doubt that you will continue to find your way, and it goes without saying, we’re always along for the ride.

Holden and Lexi – you still have a few more years to go, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t seen incredible changes (and growth!) in both of you as well. Each month that passes it seems you both have more hair, more freckles, more friends, more wisdom, and more independence. It’s such a strange feeling to not be needed in the same way anymore (now it’s mostly food, rides, and money) – but it’s also gratifying, because each independent step you take means that your father and I must be doing something right. Above all else, we’re so proud to see you both continuing to mature and love watching you both absorb the world around you. Lexi – seeing you ace every assignment with nonchalance reminds me so much of myself it’s scary. And I love how you’re quietly but determinedly forging your own path and your own style. Holden – the way you fully embrace your interests makes it impossible for us not to be supportive (who wouldn’t want to encourage your YouTube channel filled with aviation stats or your endless bike rides to search for frogs?).

Above all else, we just love seeing you all develop your own interests and joys and passions – and we couldn’t be prouder to be your parents. Keep doing amazing things – here’s to a relaxing summer and then it’s on to Grades 6, 7 and 9!

Love,

Mama

Lexi - Happy 12th Birthday!

 Dear Lexi,

A dozen years of knowing you and just when I think I couldn’t possibly love you more, you do something that makes me even more proud to be your mom. I know it’s hard being a middle child, and I know it’s hard being 12 – not really a little kid anymore (but you still love to wrestle with your brother like puppies) and not quite a teenager yet (despite the daily mascara wear). But as always, you seem to just plow through headlong. You are by far the most independent of your siblings, always wanting to make your own meals/snacks, baking alone, cleaning your room, organizing the pantry or your bathroom, always finishing all of your homework/assignments on time (seemingly effortlessly), never forgetting to put your elastics on your braces before bed each night.

It’s a pleasure watching you navigate your life and school and friendships and changing fashion and doing it all in your characteristic Lexi way. Quiet but loud, calm but feisty, loving but witty, snuggly but strong, athletic but artistic. You embody the perfect balance of someone who is grounded, sensitive, empathetic, loving, and above all, determined to do things her own way. And I couldn’t be more thrilled to see how you evolve as you become a teenager and beyond. Whatever life holds for you, I’m so glad to be along for the ride, and I know that you’ll kick butt no matter what.

Thank you for being you – I couldn’t be prouder to get to be your mom.

Love,

Mama

Family Vacation - Puerto Plata March '23

This past week marked only our second time ever taking you kids on a plane. The last tropical vacation we had was back in 2017, and it was an entirely different vibe! Super fun, but you guys weren’t great swimmers and couldn’t be left unsupervised for… really anything! Holden kept falling asleep in his dinner, someone always had to go to the bathroom, you all needed help at the buffets, etc. So we were super excited to take you all back to the Dominican as much older kids who could fend for themselves.

Back in August (right after our Sauble Beach vacation) we booked this awesome two-bedroom family suite, which came with a bunch of upgrades like room servic and private restaurants/pools, private concierge, etc. We knew going in that it was a slightly smaller resort than ones we’d been to previously, it was a bit older and more outdated, but the reviews were fairly positive and we got a great deal on this suite that could easily accommodate our bigger family. However, 13 hours before we were set to depart, Air Transat called to tell us that they no longer had our suite available and we’d get two rooms side-by-side. We were furious. And heartbroken. And furious. Did I mention furious? Thank goodness for our travel agent, who spent HOURS on the phone to fight on our behalf to ensure we got what we paid for. We didn’t, but we made the best of it with our two rooms side by side (and a pretty sweet partial refund). Regardless, we were away, together, on a beach, with unlimited food that *I* didn’t have to prepare!

Once we sorted out those pesky details, the rest of the trip actually went fairly smoothly! The flight was easy, the resort staff was absolutely incredible, the food was good, the beach was gorgeous, and the weather was perfect (not a single drop of rain the entire time!). I had also been nervous going into the trip because of course, 12 days before departure, Holden got Covid. And then Daddy. And then Lexi. Surprisingly, Mercedes and I were the only ones left standing but I was terrified that we’d get sick while away and miss out on some of the enjoyment of our long-awaited, very much-earned vacation. And then… I did get sick, right before we left, which actually turned out to be strep and a chest infection! Apparently I finally relaxed so much that I relaxed my immune system at the same time. Leave it to me to NOT get Covid from three of my immediate family members, but instead get strep for the first time in probably 40 years!

So yes, there were hiccups along the way, but if life the past many years has taught us anything it’s that we need to roll with the punches and keep going. And that’s exactly what we did. And all in all, we had a fabulous time. There were shows and endless amounts of food. Cold, slushy drinks and the beach. Finding coral and a birthday spa visit. Hours and hours of swimming and playing in the pool, including water aerobics and dance parties and volleyball. There was teaching you guys how to play pool, and foosball, and table tennis. There were card games and so many books read. And above all else, there were a LOT of laughs. I’m so thankful we made it out there, despite those hiccups, and I’ll treasure those memories forever.

Here’s to many more vacations with my beautiful family! (Only maybe without the covid and strep and overbooked resort next time.)

Love,

Mama

Mercedes - Happy 14th Birthday!

Dear Mercedes,

Fourteen years ago you came marching into this world and changed the lives of everyone around you. Not only did we birth new life… YOU created new roles for the rest of us. All of a sudden, I became a mother, and Daddy became a father. You created a Bubie and a Zaidie and two doting aunts, and even a great-grandmother and a GREAT-great-grandmother (and although she died shortly after you were born, it was the absolute greatest pleasure of her life that she was able to fulfil that role, however briefly). Such is the power of first-born children. And with that power comes the knowledge that you are our greatest experiment. I have no idea how to parent a fourteen year old – this is all new for all of us! But I’m not scared, because I have the best kid in the world to figure it out with.

I could not be prouder of the person you are growing up to be. Of course, you’re beautiful and exceptionally smart and witty. But you are also kind. And loving. And affectionate. And giving. During your parent-teacher conference this year, your teacher told us that you were a “quiet leader, and a great asset to have in the class,” which makes me more thrilled than any grades you could possibly ever get. I love hearing about you volunteering to help with younger classes and set up the gym for assemblies and work to collect Christmas Cheer items, etc. It’s truly amazing to see you blossom into someone who is confident with her friends and her likes/dislikes, but also willing to lend a hand, open to hearing/discussing hard things, able to take a stance on issues you feel strongly about – and, make sarcastic jokes and accept the teasing that is an inherent part of being in this family.

Something MY father always said to me that stuck, which perfectly sums up how I feel now, is that I LOVE you, because of course I do – I made you! But I also actually really LIKE you. I WANT to spend time with you, watching tv and snuggling together, or reading side by side wrapped in a blanket, or going for drives to take sunset pictures, or wandering the mall and finding the perfect outfit. Spending time chatting and hanging out with you fills my cup in so many ways, and I just hope that as you stride further forward into the teenage trenches that you won’t forget how much you enjoy hanging out with ME too.

Happy birthday my gorgeous lovebug!

Love always,

Mum

Holden - Happy 10th Birthday!

Dear Holden,

It’s crazy to me that 11 years ago we had no idea we would ever have another baby, and then one year later, there you were, completing our family in the best way possible. You, with your thick, curly hair and amazing freckles and cute little nose and gap-toothed grin and quirky sense of humour, remain to this day the best Christmas surprise anyone could have ever asked for. You are everything we never knew we always wanted – complete with armpit farts and penis jokes and loud burps at the table and the best laugh I’ve ever heard when you don’t know we’re listening.

It's hard to believe that you are already 10 years old – for starters, I don’t feel old enough to have been a parent to three for an entire decade, but also, it’s hard to fathom how quickly time flies and how much you’ve grown in the past year. You walk back and forth to school alone, you hang out with your friends (ok, mostly online but whatever), you spend a LOT of time in your room (again, online with your friends), you have the best computer set-up in the house, you are a Fortnite expert, schoolwork seems to come easily to you, you have no problem helping yourself to a giant bowl of cereal at any time of the day… you’re growing up right before our eyes and it’s sad and scary and wonderful to see, all at the same time.

But no matter what, I’m so unbelievably proud of the boy you are turning into and can’t wait to see the man you will eventually become. I have no doubt you will continue being funny and smart and quirky and loving – just maybe try to be a *bit* nicer to your sisters (or like, acknowledge their presence when you see them at school, please).

Love you forever and ever,

Mama

Lexi - Happy 11th Birthday!

 Dear Lexi,

ELEVEN! It’s hard to believe that we’re that much closer to teenager-hood with our second baby but seeing how much you have changed over the past year, I really shouldn’t be that surprised. Truthfully, I’m not sure I’m entirely on board with all of these changes, but I know I have to continue to step back and let you discover your own tastes and assert your own opinions (something which you have never had a problem with truthfully!). Gone is my little girl who chose clothes that were super-patterned and bright and colourful (i.e. the louder, the better). Instead, you’re much more focused on what’s in style and what looks good together – opting usually now for more muted colours like your big sister. You two are basically the same size so you share clothes (which is lovely, except that I’m still somehow buying two of everything). I still see elements of your old self come through though, like your pink converse shoes instead of the very standard black that every other tween/teen is wearing these days. And of course, you still do love your stuffies (much as I try to encourage you to pack some away), and you are still the best hugger around.

But you, much like your siblings, are more often in your room, less likely to want to snuggle. You’ve mostly given up on animated/kids movies, and love watching horror films with your father. You like hanging out with your friends, and watching YouTube, and reading in your room. It’s fun to watch you grow and change, see your personality continue to develop, learn more about the person you are becoming. You are a perfectionist – and insist on always finishing all of your homework immediately, striving to do the best job that you can. You get more frustrated with assignments that are a bit more abstract, with no right or wrong answer (despite the aforementioned love of asserting your opinion, somehow it doesn’t translate into your schoolwork!) – but you have a real knack for things that are more black and white, with a clear right or wrong answer. You are still the best at arguing your point (Lawyer Lexi) and once you focus on something, you FOCUS.

I love watching you grow and change, but please, please don’t lose ALL of those quirks and obsessions (yes, maybe even the stuffies!) that make you the funny, feisty little Lexi you’ve always been. Regardless, we love you more than you’ll ever know and are so proud of the person you are.

 

Love,

Mama

Mercedes - Happy 13th Birthday!

Dear Mercedes,

It’s official – you’re a teenager! (And yes, that means that I am old enough to have a teenager.) When I think back to the days and weeks leading up to your birth, I remember both a sense of excitement and nervous anticipation. I had no idea what I was getting into, but I knew I was excited to take on the challenge of becoming a mother – becoming YOUR mother. I feel much the same now. I know there will be rough times ahead for us all – teenagers are meant to be difficult. You’ll straddle the line between kid and adult, test boundaries, push me away and then pull me close. Because you are our first, we really have no idea what parenting a teenager is like (except for those foggy memories we have of actually being teenagers – the confusion and heartache and uncertainty and feeling of being WAY smarter than your parents). But we do know you – we know how funny and smart you are. We know your quick wit and your devotion to your friends. We know your sensitive heart and the way you cry at movies (no idea where you got that trait from). We know how proud we are to be your parents, and that you are our greatest experiment.

For now, you are happy to be with me – you frequently want to snuggle while we binge-watch tv shows, you like reading with me after your siblings go to bed. And I’m trying my hardest to hold on for dear life because I know that can change in an instant. You will pull away. You will be gone more than you are here. If anything, I’m grateful to Covid for delaying the inevitable. But I do hope that you always remember that no matter what, I’m immensely proud to be your mom. I hope you remember that I will always, always be here for you – to listen, to vent to, to offer advice, to give you a ride out of a sticky situation, to be your out when you’re pressured to do something you don’t want to do, to send funny TikTok videos to, to be your shopping buddy.

So be kind to me, my newly-minted teenager, as I wax nostalgic about the days when you wouldn’t let me out of your sight, and needed to sleep beside me, and were fully dependent on me. I’m so proud to see you spread your wings and learn to be your own mini-adult. But I’ll be ever so thankful if you continue to let me walk beside you as you grow.

Love,

Mum

Holden - Happy 9th Birthday!

Dear Holden,

Happy 9^th birthday! I remember your last birthday pretty vividly, because we were closing in on almost an entire year of the global Covid-19 pandemic, and I felt so terrible that you were going to celebrate your birthday in a very different way. Despite an entire year passing, and all of us being in various stages of vaccination, it feels like we’re right back where we started! Thankfully, it looks like we can still celebrate you in some fashion – a big family dinner and an outing of your choice, etc. But it’s not quite the same when this doom and gloom hangs over us. Regardless, I know we’ll make the best of it and I’m just so happy we’re all healthy and able to spend time together.

Of course, you’ve grown and changed over the past year – sometimes it feels like I blink and you’ve gotten taller, or more freckle-y, or lost yet another mispronunciation (there’s basically none left now *sob*). But you still look like my little boy in so many ways (maybe those freckles have something to do with it!).

You’re doing great in school, even though it’s yet another year filled with disruptions and strangeness (masks and recess cohorts and no field trips or parents in the schools, etc.). You were chosen to participate in a math contest and had a glowing report card (well, apart from the recommendation that you try not to talk to your friends so much in class – I have no idea where you got that trait from!). You gave Minecraft a try this year and became absolutely obsessed with it and have also recently discovered a fascination with all things military vehicles (jets and helicopters and tanks) – so much so that for your family birthday outing (instead of a birthday party) we’re planning on going to the Base Borden Military Museum!

As always, you remain funny and witty and smart, with sharp observations and intense roasts for your sisters especially. You can be a little grumpy, particularly when you are hungry (but it’s nothing that three breakfast sandwiches won’t cure). You still give the best hugs and snuggles, although those are happening less and less frequently these days (*sob* again).

Above all else, I’m so happy to watch you grow and to get to be a witness to how your amazing mind works and the things you discover each day. I’m so proud to be your mom and excited to see what the next year holds for my special ‘baby’ boy.

Love,

Mama

Goodbye Vinny - 13 months old

Last Saturday, June 5^th, we had to say goodbye to a big piece of our hearts. To say we are all still reeling is an understatement. Life goes on, and we get up and eat breakfast and go to school/work and make jokes at the dinner table and laugh as a family – but I know from (unfortunately way too much) experience that this pain will exist for a long time. Sometimes on the surface, with tears and angry outbursts, but more often a quiet undercurrent of grief – these brief hitches where you call a cat the wrong name, or tell people you have three cats instead of two, or look for the little face that should be there when you do something he was always involved in. 

I miss the way he’d paw at the shower door, or how he’d beg for me to pick him up and hold him like a baby. I miss the way he’d immediately flop into a snuggle if you picked him up, “purr mode activated” as Holden would say, complete with happy little chirps. I miss the way Diesel would call for him and he’d instantly perk up out of a dead sleep and go running so they could play. Now Diesel calls for him and no one answers but us, which clearly isn’t good enough for him. I miss the way he’d calmly wait for you to put his harness on so he could go safely explore the backyard, and I miss the way he’d hold your face with his paws for kisses (or love bites for Daddy). I miss how much he’d struggle to get under the covers and would scratch at my shoulders in the middle of the night so I could roll out the red carpet for snuggles. I miss how goofy and silly he was – never climbing cat trees properly but doing disastrously uncoordinated pull-ups instead, and trying to fit through the space between the blinds to see out the window; stretching and reaching out his paws to touch you but always missing, or crawling into his little bed and then flipping it over and not seeming to care. I miss his silly sideways hops and how he’d stand on his hind legs as a kitten to make himself look bigger to Diesel (despite the fact that he very quickly grew bigger than this big brother). I miss how soft and downy and chubby he was, with his crooked right eye and his big belly and his furry eyebrows.

We got Vinny at a time when most people were getting new pets – pandemic pets for everyone. How ironic then, that he died due to complications from a coronavirus while we are still on lockdown from Covid-19. We only had nine months with our sweet guy and it will always be shocking to me that we didn’t get more. His spark and his charm will never be forgotten. He was such a bright light in our lives and my heart aches every day thinking about the hole his loss leaves in our family. I’ve lost pets before, in various ways, and it’s always horrible. But Bruiser and Vinny were something special – sweet and funny and goofy and eternally loving – and it’s just not fair that they both left us so suddenly, and so young. We never have enough time with our pets, I know this – but we should have had much, much more with both of them. Of course, that won’t stop us from dusting ourselves off and continuing to open our home and our hearts to more animals – because that’s who we are and that’s what makes us feel complete.

Goodbye sweet Baby Schmoops – I’m so sorry we couldn’t do more for you.

Love,

Mama

Lexi - Happy 10th Birthday!

Dear Lexi,

Or should I say Alexis, Lex, Lexi-Lou, Rad Lou, Ratatouille – your nicknames seem endless these days! Regardless, Happy 10^th Birthday to my sweet girl – it’s hard to believe we are already in double-digit territory. I remember the day you were born so vividly, and how small and feisty you were. You are definitely bigger, but the feistiness remains – and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I love seeing you grow into the kind of kid that I always wanted to be – you are confident and brave and have strong opinions about what you like and don’t like, what you want to eat, what you want to wear. You are such a joy to watch mature – although I think your father is a bit scared of the abundance of female hormones that are rapidly taking over our household. You still read voraciously, often falling asleep with your lights on and your book beside you – and you still watch YouTube just as wholeheartedly.

Ten is such a unique age, as you straddle the line between kid and tween (your sister only recently firmly landed on one side of that line ha) – your eyes light up whenever anyone mentions ice cream and your bed is still fully covered with stuffies, but you don’t want me to shop for you anymore and you’ve started asking for more freedom around screentime (and you wear bras and deodorant!). I love seeing you figure out your place in the world, because you do it in typical Lexi fashion. With feeling and flair, always.

As Covid-19 continues to be a hot topic here, you are now celebrating your second birthday in lockdown, but again in typical Lexi fashion, you accept it without complaint. You know you’ll be spoiled appropriately, and thankfully for us your family still remains the most important celebrants of all. We have a full day planned of safe, at-home celebrations and we’ll make the best of it, as we have the past year. I know it’s been a terrible thing that we’ve had to endure these past 14 months, but I’m so grateful that I’ve been able to be home with you all this entire time – spending so much time together is a LOT, but it’s also wonderful. My favourite part? Watching the relationship between you and your siblings continue to grow and flourish. There’s fights, for sure, but I’m so blessed to watch you all love each other and get along so well.

Happy birthday lovey – keep being you and don’t ever lose that sparkle we all love so much.

Love,

Mama