Holden - Happy 7th Birthday!

Dear Holden,

Having my baby turn another year older is always so bittersweet. I remember so many tiny details around my pregnancy with you, your birth, your first year – I was so aware of the fact that you were (100% most definitely!) my last baby, and I tried my very best to soak in every experience (even while running after two other kids, one of them being Lexi as a toddler). So to think that my once-tiny baby, with the sweet, high-pitched voice and chubby cheeks, is SEVEN is pretty mind-boggling.

You have changed so much this past year, although of course, I still see so many glimpses of that same sweet little baby boy – the unruly curly hair if I wait too long to get your haircut, the frequent “Mommy, I love you,” the tight hugs, the adorable giggles with your sisters, the ability you have to just put yourself to sleep whenever and wherever you feel like it. But now you read, everything. You teach me about math and patterns and oceans and sharks. You are better at video games than I will ever be and you can pick out makes and models of cars from quite a distance away. You can watch Home Alone or Fast and the Furious over and over and over again. You request your own songs during our Friday night dance parties. You still LOVE sushi and fight with your Uncle Matt over all of the salmon sashimi. You put away your own laundry, help clean the kitchen, pack/unpack your school bag. I have especially loved seeing you bloom in karate this year – you were a little hesitant when you started but you have totally blossomed there. It is such a pleasure watching you listen patiently, follow instructions, get stronger, learn new moves and most of all of course, have such an amazingly fun time. Your instructors all say that you are a joy to have in class, and your father and I find it such a thrill to just watch you participate and love it so much.

You are doing so well in school, which is another not-so-small delight for me. I was worried about you at the start of the year because you were put in a Grade 2/3 split class and being the absolute youngest of the Grade 2s I was concerned you might get a bit lost. But during the annual reorganization, they actually moved you to a Grade 1/2 split, which is a much better fit. The teacher is lovely, you are with great kids, and you have learned so much just in the first few months of the school year. Your reading has exploded, and your printing and spelling have taken off as well. It’s always such a relief when I see you adjusting to change and new surroundings with ease.

Above all else, you remain our wonderful Class Clown. You still say funny things to make us all laugh – except now the jokes are just a little more sophisticated and mature. As I say to you frequently – you are my very favourite little boy in the whole entire world. And no matter HOW old you get, that fact will remain true.

Happy birthday my sweet bugs – love you to the moon and back times infinity.

Love,

Mama

Alexis - Happy 8th Birthday!

Dear Alexis,

Happy 8^th birthday! It is hard to believe that there was ever a time that you weren’t this bright, loud, curly-haired little girl, but I still remember the events surrounding your birth like it was yesterday. I remember how small and squeaky you were (we called you Pipsqueak actually). I remember how the nurses told me that just-born babies like to sleep a lot initially, but instead, all you wanted to do was eat (and eat and eat and eat). I remember you being whisked away to the NICU for a few hours after I held you for only a second and feeling utterly helpless that I couldn’t be with you. I remember your father and I sitting alone in the recovery room, feeling empty that I didn’t have you in my arms, and being so relieved when your scrawny, bald little body was returned to me. I remember introducing you to Mercedes for the first time and witnessing how quickly she fell in love with her baby sister.

As the years pass, the moments in between those first few days and the present become blurry – I thought I would always remember how you mispronounced certain words, or what your hair looked like after a nap, or how proud you were when you learned a new skill. But certain moments will always stand out in my mind so clearly – you taking off all of your clothes and dancing on the coffee table; the stubborn way you insisted on calling your brother Baby Cry when he first came home; the phase of wanting only Daddy to change your diapers (thank you for that); the way you used to growl when you ate; how you rolled over ridiculously early and the way you used to chase Duke around with a maniacal grin.

Above all else, one thing remains – the feeling of absolute delight I have in watching you grow into this amazing kid that I just love so much. I say it often, but it remains true – you clearly knew you were destined to be a Middle before we did. You have this effortless way of moving through life – easygoing and stubborn, independent and so very loving, feisty and committed to the things you love (cartwheels, ice cream, YouTube, friends, spelling, your curls, being as colourful as possible).

Your presence is a gift to us all, and we are always so very grateful to watch you walk through life with the spirit that you have. Don’t ever lose that spark!

Happy Birthday Lovebug.

Love,

Mama

Mercedes - Happy 10th Birthday!

Dear Mercedes,

Happy 10^th Birthday! It is impossible to accurately explain just how much you have changed all of our lives – myself, your father, your grandparents, your aunts. Before you, we were a family, a great family – but you are the one who changed us all. You turned us into parents and grandparents and aunts. You made us realize the full depth of love we were capable of, and just how it feels to have a piece of your heart permanently walking around outside of your body. Of course, I love your brother and sister just the same, but there will always be something special about the firsts with your first born. I will never forget how I felt in the last couple of weeks leading up to your arrival – impatient, anxious, nervous, and excited beyond belief at getting to meet you and finally learn all about you. I had no idea just how perfect of a mix of your father and I that you would be –his skin tone, my face, his body and feet, my excitement about writing, and a personality (and hair) all your own.

The downside to being the first born is that we basically continually experiment on you. In fact, I’ve told you often that just as you are learning how to be an 8 year old, 9 year old, and now 10 year old, we are learning how to parent that age also. We make mistakes, to be sure, but we always try our best and I hope you always remember that every decision we make is because we love you and want you to grow up to the best version of yourself that you can be. Not the one who gets the highest marks, not the one who wins the most awards, not the one who always wins the race… but the one who is kind, and considerate, and inclusive, and a little goofy, and can be sarcastic and take a good joke like the rest of us. You are well on your way, and we can’t wait to see what the next decade holds for you. 

I won’t lie, I am a LITTLE nervous about navigating the pre-teen and teenager years ahead, but as you will be figuring out your path in life, your father and I will always be walking, and learning, alongside you.

We love you – Happy First Decade!

Love,

Mama

Holden - Happy 6th Birthday!

Dear Holden,

On Monday you turn six years old! It is hard to believe that six whole years have passed since you completed our family, but at the same time, it feels impossible to remember a time without you in our lives. It is such a treasure to watch you grow older – in fact, it feels like you have changed so much just even in the past few months. You just moved up a couple of levels in reading at school and it seems like it is starting to magically click for you, which thrills me. You are absolutely thriving in Grade 1, despite being the youngest in your class. You love playing video games with your father and watching scary movies like Jurassic Park and Goonies. You are an incredibly voracious eater, so much so that I am cringing thinking about our grocery bills when you are a teenager. Your favourite foods are sushi and tacos (in fact you get angry when a Tuesday passes without tacos, and you requested sushi for your birthday dinner at Bubie and Zaidie’s tomorrow). You love dinosaurs and Gross Guys and Captain Underpants and Peppa Pig (still) and calling everyone and everything a butt cheek. Best of all, you still love stuffies and are such a cuddly boy; you are always up for a good snuggle in bed or a hug under a blanket on the couch while we watch a movie. You are still the Class Clown (I feel like this will never change) and you try to make everyone laugh with your very impressive comedic timing.

I am so proud to be your mother and so thankful for what a wonderful little boy you are turning out to be. Earlier this week you were the first one ready and downstairs on a school day and when I came down you proudly proclaimed to me “I turned on all of the lights, and plugged in the Christmas tree, and cleaned up some garbage on the kitchen table, and took out our lunch bags, and fed the cats!” And my heart melted at how independent and capable and strong you are. But no matter how grown up you may seem or how many inches you grow, you will always be my baby boy (and you agree with this!) and I hope that you will always, always remember that.

Happy Birthday my sweet Holden – I wish nothing but joy for you this year and all the years thereafter.

Love,

Mama

First Day of School 2018/2019

This summer vacation seemed to fly by, but I am so thankful for being able to spend two full weeks at home with you all and to have made some amazing memories in the process. This summer you spent a full week at Camp Bubie and Zaidie (which you loved of course), two weeks with me, and six weeks at camp. The camp was filled with lots of games, fun, outdoor activities, new friends, and exciting field trips (Elmvale Zoo, the Barrie Fair, the splash pad, Earl Rowe, etc.) But I am most thankful for spending some quality time with my babies – we did berry picking and swimming and visits with your cousin, park trips (we decided to drive and explore new playgrounds so we could rank them), library visits, playdates, and more. We rented an RV for a weekend in Port Severn – watching movies, and going to the beach, and visiting the Big Chute Marine Railway, exploring the waterfront in Midland/Pentetanguishine – it was an amazing time all five of us together. And to cap off a great summer, we welcomed a new kitten to our family! It has been so lovely to watch you all fall in love with a new pet – I love seeing how gentle and caring you all are with this tiny three-pound snuggly terror. But as always, summer vacation ends too quickly and yesterday was your first day back at school – finally, all three kids in the big yard and no more kindergarten!

Holden –I was so impressed with how brave and excited you were to start Grade 1. A big kid, in the big yard, with a classroom all the way on the third floor! Thankfully, you are in a class with two of your best buds James and Tate, and you were so thrilled to see them in the line-up yesterday morning. No tears from you, and you came home ridiculously tired but also so eager to tell me everything about Grade 1 and your desks and how your classroom is set-up. I vividly remember how much maturing both of your sisters did in Grade 1, and I am excited to see what this pivotal year holds for my baby boy.

Lexi – In usual Lexi fashion, you picked the most colourful outfit to wear for your first day back (a dress covered in multi-coloured popsicles, ice-cream cone earrings, and pink streaks in your hair). You also faced the day bravely (no tears!) and were thrilled to be placed with a few friends that you were in kindergarten with but didn’t have in last year’s class. Your teacher seems lovely, and you are especially enthusiastic about the ‘flexible seating’ arrangement in your new class. You have regular desks, a standing table, a kneeling table, cushions on the floor, etc. and you were so excited to try out the different options today. I can’t wait to see my future little lawyer accomplishes this year.

Mercedes –Transition and change and the unexpected are often difficult for you, and it is heartbreaking to watch you struggle with anxiety during what should be an exciting time. I continue to admire and respect how hard you work to overcome your fears, and this year was no exception. I know that you were feeling anxious about back to school over the past week or so, but I watched you talk yourself off the ledge and for the first year in history we have had ZERO tears surrounding the start of school! I watched you bravely hold your head up high yesterday, despite clearly feeling overwhelmed at the chaos of the first morning. You are so relieved that you are with a couple of great friends, including your most recent bestie Caitlynn that you have been on the phone with ALL summer long, and you even have the same teacher that you had two years ago! She was wonderful, and dealt with your anxieties in a supportive, encouraging way. Grade 4 is yet another transition year – from Primary to Junior, from one recess block to another, learning French, joining school activities – and as usual, I am so excited to see how you tackle all of this new learning and growing. It is bittersweet watching my first baby grow up so much, and confusing since your father and I literally have no idea how to parent you without a lot of trial and error. But there is always so with much love and respect and pride, and I can’t wait to see what your future holds.

I am looking forward to hearing more about your first few days/weeks of school, and to see what this exciting new year holds. I have always loved the month of September for this very reason – the promise of new beginnings and growth is always so exciting, and now I get to live it all again three times over. Being a mother to all of you makes me so proud, and happier than you could ever know.

Love,

Mama

Lexi - Happy 7th Birthday!

Dear Lexi,

Happy 7^th birthday! I can’t express to you how much you have enriched the lives of everyone who has ever known you. All of our children are so deeply loved and treasured, but there is something so spirited and bright about you – everyone who meets you comments on your ‘spark’ (and your hair), and they are right to notice it. You came screaming into this world in a fast fury, tiny and squeaky, and you haven’t stopped since. You are this wonderful mix of super easy-going and flexible and carefree, while also being incredibly stubborn and feisty and sharp-witted. It’s a mix that often keeps us all laughing, and always keeps us on our toes.

You absolutely love to read, just like the rest of your family, and you have thrived immeasurably in Grade 1. You love math and writing and singing and gymnastics and playing with your brother and sister. You have no problems making friends, or socializing with people of any sort – you love chocolate and candy and cookies and ice cream (so much so, that you insisted on wearing a dress with popsicles on it today for your birthday), and basically most food (including a strong penchant for sushi and seafood, which is fun for us, but expensive). You just recently learned how to ride your bike without training wheels and you are so proud of yourself for figuring it out. You actually fell off your bike yesterday, scraping up your hands and knees, but you declared it won’t stop you from getting back on your bike next time.

We are so proud of the fantastic big kid you are growing into, and can’t wait to see what the next few years hold. I love seeing you discover the world around you and learn new things and become more independent. I love having intense conversations with you and seeing your dedication to the things you love (slime videos, LOLs, etc.) – and of course, no one gives better hugs than my sweet Lexi-Loo (even though it is literally like a small hurricane coming at you). You are often messy, and frequently loud; hard-headed and nitpicky, but oh so loving and affectionate. And while you may frustrate us to no end with your spirited attitude, we desperately want to ensure that you never lose that attitude – it will serve you well in life.

Happy Birthday Spitfire – we love you to the moon and back.

Love,

Mama

Mercedes - Happy 9th Birthday!

Dear Mercedes,

Nine years ago tonight, I was in labour and nervous as hell. Excited to meet you, ecstatic at becoming a mother, scared that I would have absolutely no idea what to do, worried at all that you would face in your life, and overwhelmed at the intense emotion of this very important moment. No one forgets the instance they become a parent. The birth of your sister and brother were/are also unforgettable, but there is always something truly unbelievable and surreal surrounding the birth of your first child. You were born in that moment, but so was I.

And now, nine years later, I remain continually amazed at this incredible journey we are undertaking together. As you figure out how to navigate the world, I am figuring out how best to guide you. I make mistakes – plenty of them – but together I know we can manage. I am so proud of the wonderful girl you are growing into – smart, observant, considerate, sensitive, emotional, funny, shy, and kind of goofy – and so incredibly thankful to be your mom. I love watching you thoughtfully pick out clothes in the morning, read a book to the family, or work through a math book (for fun!) I love the love that you have for music, and how you can listen to the same song over and over and over again (I wonder where you get that from…), and the way you dance with abandon. I love watching you conquer your fears at gymnastics, and make new friends, and call Caitlyn to discuss toys and how your day at school was even though you literally JUST saw each other an hour before.

For the first time, I am missing your birthday and although it was unavoidable and not my first choice, I still feel terribly guilty about it. I wish that I could be there to see your face in the morning and give you birthday hugs – but one day late is not going to be the topic of therapy years from now I hope?

Above all else, I am still nervous, just like I was nine years ago, only now I am worried about tween things – social media and mean girls and bullying and puberty. But just like then, I know that no matter how surreal it may seem to be your mother, it is also wonderfully amazing. And I know that we’ll always be just fine.

Love,

Mama