Dear Holden,
Oops - much like I've been neglecting your big sisters' side of this journal, I've also not had a chance to write to you. I apologize - your sisters, my job, pregnancy exhaustion and of course, selling/packing/moving an entire household has taken up a LOT of time and energy.
But rest assured, despite being the third baby, you are far from forgotten! You, my little trouble-maker, make your presence known EVERY day, believe me! This pregnancy has been SO different from my other two - boy versus girls? Or am I finally getting old? Or maybe it's just you wanting to be sure that you don't get lost in the shuffle of three kids under four :p There has been illness after illness (in me!), heart palpitations, debilitating carpal tunnel in my right wrist, aches and pains and sleepless nights like I've never experienced before. You'd better be a REALLY good sleeper after all of this! And then you gave us a nice scare this week - I had a midwife appointment on Tuesday and they decided that you were NO longer head down! Which is problematic for a variety of reasons. So after a sleepless night and visions of external versions and emergency c-sections and cord prolapse we headed to the hospital to have an ultrasound and consult with an OB. But good news - you are back headed in the right direction and the OB felt very confident that everything is all systems go for a 'normal' birth. Yay! I think maybe you were just jealous that I had so many ultrasounds with your sisters and you wanted to be seen on the big screen again. It was nice to see you again, I must admit - and confirm that you are most definitely still a boy!
And now - we wait! I'd like you to arrive BEFORE Christmas, because I'd hate for my beautiful little boy to be overshadowed by all of that holiday excitement... but it's creeping closer and closer and despite having regular contractions for two weeks now, there is still no real sign of your impending arrival! We are getting very impatient because we ALL want to meet you. And everyone is on pins and needles wondering if Bubie and Zaidie will get here in time to watch your sisters, if the weather will hold up, how long your arrival will take, etc. I'm trying to just enjoy these last days of pregnancy - of our special time alone, just my little boy and his mama, because we'll never be alone again I think! I know how miraculous pregnancy is, and I will miss my belly and feeling your jabs and pokes and hiccups and rolls. But I can't wait to meet you and see who you look like and how your sisters will dote on you and what sort of personality you'll have. So, just come on out already - you have no idea how lucky you are to have so many people who love you already, sight unseen.
Love,
Mama
Thursday 20 December 2012
Mercedes - Almost 4 Years Old and Alexis - 19 Months Old
My beautiful, wonderful girls,
I am SO sorry I haven't written in months. It's not that you aren't both doing interesting, amazing things - it's that we've been so incredibly busy and tired that I just haven't found (made) the time. So much has happened in the past few months - not the least of which includes a major move to a new house and new town! Getting ready to sell a house, going through the selling and buying process, and then actually MOVING is quite difficult and time-consuming and overwhelming and exhausting - particularly when you add two small children, a crazy dog, a lovely cat, and a pregnant mama to the mix! But with lots of hard work and tears, we made it through and we are all settled in our beautiful new home. You both LOVE the new house - we have a wonderful finished basement which houses your millions of toys, you both have lovely large girly bedrooms, and a nice backyard with lots of room to roam, plus a park RIGHT across the street. We are all so thrilled to be starting this new chapter of our lives - new house, new baby brother (soon!)... 2013 is going to be a fantastic year for our family, we can feel it.
Mercedes - you have been in Preschool now since September and you are absolutely LOVING it. I've never been so proud to see how much you are thriving. You are in a Kindergarten program (basically the private equivalent of a JK class, except you get food provided and naptime) and you are learning so much. It thrills my heart to see you excited about going to school - coming home and telling me about all the new letters you are learning about, discussing dinosaurs and what they eat, talking about your new friends, watching you perform in your first ever Holiday Concert. My heart swells when I think of how much you've grown in the past few months. My once shy, introverted, tentative little girl is blossoming beyond belief. You will always be a bit more sensitive and hesitant and you come by it honestly - both your father and I are like that also, and we think you are all the more wonderful because of it. But you have totally come out of your shell, and I have to think that it's not just getting older, but the fantastic environment at Preschool and the confidence you've gained in yourself. You talk to servers at restaurants and order your own meals, you run and play with the other kids at school, you insist on shaking hands with new people we meet... you are such a delight (even with the tantrums and attitude and defiance that comes hand in hand with a dramatic almost 4 year old!). You also decided that you were done with pull-ups at night and are 'mostly' accident-free overnight. AND, as a bonus, you even go to bed in your OWN room! Once we moved, we decided it was time for you to use your big girl bed again, and you go to sleep peacefully without a fight in your own bed. You do still end up in our bed almost every night (sometimes it's 10 pm, sometimes it's 4 am) - usually because you wake up and have to pee and then don't want to go back to your own room. Despite the crowding and the fact your brother will be here in our room soon, we do love the nighttime snuggles.
Your father and I love hearing the stuff that comes out of your mouth - you are funny and observant and emotional and it's so much fun watching the small stuff delight you. You love 'playing school' and bossing us (your 'students') around and showing us everything you've learned. You 'read' your books to us constantly and it makes me so proud how interested you are in books and learning. Your imagination is something fantastic to witness. We love you so much and can't wait to see you become a big sister all over again!
Alexis - you are 19 months now and your vocabulary and personality is just EXPLODING. We can't get over how funny and sweet and feisty you are. You have QUITE the attitude, and I have NO idea where you got all of your dramatics from (cough *your sister* cough). You love to say NO! and pull Mercedes' hair and hug the dog (a little too tightly for his liking sometimes) and chase the cat and push my face away when I try to kiss you. You have lots of words now (over 50 for sure) and are starting to combine them (Bye Dora, Hi Daddy, Don't Cry, etc). You are absolutely completely obsessed with your father and while it's a little annoying to me sometimes, it's also positively heart-warming. There is nothing that sounds sweeter to me (and believe me, to your Daddy too) than to see your beaming smile when he walks in the room as you yell "Daddy! Hi Daddy!" and run to give him a big hug and goobery kiss. Never mind the fact that *I* grew you and delivered you, he gets all the credit... but that's okay - he dotes on you both and he's thrilled to get that recognition and devotion in return. You are obsessed with your stuffed animals in a way that Mercedes NEVER was - you always have to be carrying some animal around with you, and you have a tiny zoo living in your crib every night. You still out-eat your sister most meals (unless you are sick) and you are fairly silently teething your canines right now (very unlike your sister!). You are such a delight, despite the occasional tantrums over not getting your way and the feisty attitude and fighting me on getting dressed/undressed (EVERY day). Most of the time you are incredibly easy-going and happy and friendly - everyone gravitates towards you and your sunny smile. You have NO clue that very shortly you won't be my 'baby' any more, but I am sure you will make a great big sister (eventually, ha) and just know that, no matter what, you (and your sister) will ALWAYS be my baby.
Love,
Momma
I am SO sorry I haven't written in months. It's not that you aren't both doing interesting, amazing things - it's that we've been so incredibly busy and tired that I just haven't found (made) the time. So much has happened in the past few months - not the least of which includes a major move to a new house and new town! Getting ready to sell a house, going through the selling and buying process, and then actually MOVING is quite difficult and time-consuming and overwhelming and exhausting - particularly when you add two small children, a crazy dog, a lovely cat, and a pregnant mama to the mix! But with lots of hard work and tears, we made it through and we are all settled in our beautiful new home. You both LOVE the new house - we have a wonderful finished basement which houses your millions of toys, you both have lovely large girly bedrooms, and a nice backyard with lots of room to roam, plus a park RIGHT across the street. We are all so thrilled to be starting this new chapter of our lives - new house, new baby brother (soon!)... 2013 is going to be a fantastic year for our family, we can feel it.
Mercedes - you have been in Preschool now since September and you are absolutely LOVING it. I've never been so proud to see how much you are thriving. You are in a Kindergarten program (basically the private equivalent of a JK class, except you get food provided and naptime) and you are learning so much. It thrills my heart to see you excited about going to school - coming home and telling me about all the new letters you are learning about, discussing dinosaurs and what they eat, talking about your new friends, watching you perform in your first ever Holiday Concert. My heart swells when I think of how much you've grown in the past few months. My once shy, introverted, tentative little girl is blossoming beyond belief. You will always be a bit more sensitive and hesitant and you come by it honestly - both your father and I are like that also, and we think you are all the more wonderful because of it. But you have totally come out of your shell, and I have to think that it's not just getting older, but the fantastic environment at Preschool and the confidence you've gained in yourself. You talk to servers at restaurants and order your own meals, you run and play with the other kids at school, you insist on shaking hands with new people we meet... you are such a delight (even with the tantrums and attitude and defiance that comes hand in hand with a dramatic almost 4 year old!). You also decided that you were done with pull-ups at night and are 'mostly' accident-free overnight. AND, as a bonus, you even go to bed in your OWN room! Once we moved, we decided it was time for you to use your big girl bed again, and you go to sleep peacefully without a fight in your own bed. You do still end up in our bed almost every night (sometimes it's 10 pm, sometimes it's 4 am) - usually because you wake up and have to pee and then don't want to go back to your own room. Despite the crowding and the fact your brother will be here in our room soon, we do love the nighttime snuggles.
Your father and I love hearing the stuff that comes out of your mouth - you are funny and observant and emotional and it's so much fun watching the small stuff delight you. You love 'playing school' and bossing us (your 'students') around and showing us everything you've learned. You 'read' your books to us constantly and it makes me so proud how interested you are in books and learning. Your imagination is something fantastic to witness. We love you so much and can't wait to see you become a big sister all over again!
Alexis - you are 19 months now and your vocabulary and personality is just EXPLODING. We can't get over how funny and sweet and feisty you are. You have QUITE the attitude, and I have NO idea where you got all of your dramatics from (cough *your sister* cough). You love to say NO! and pull Mercedes' hair and hug the dog (a little too tightly for his liking sometimes) and chase the cat and push my face away when I try to kiss you. You have lots of words now (over 50 for sure) and are starting to combine them (Bye Dora, Hi Daddy, Don't Cry, etc). You are absolutely completely obsessed with your father and while it's a little annoying to me sometimes, it's also positively heart-warming. There is nothing that sounds sweeter to me (and believe me, to your Daddy too) than to see your beaming smile when he walks in the room as you yell "Daddy! Hi Daddy!" and run to give him a big hug and goobery kiss. Never mind the fact that *I* grew you and delivered you, he gets all the credit... but that's okay - he dotes on you both and he's thrilled to get that recognition and devotion in return. You are obsessed with your stuffed animals in a way that Mercedes NEVER was - you always have to be carrying some animal around with you, and you have a tiny zoo living in your crib every night. You still out-eat your sister most meals (unless you are sick) and you are fairly silently teething your canines right now (very unlike your sister!). You are such a delight, despite the occasional tantrums over not getting your way and the feisty attitude and fighting me on getting dressed/undressed (EVERY day). Most of the time you are incredibly easy-going and happy and friendly - everyone gravitates towards you and your sunny smile. You have NO clue that very shortly you won't be my 'baby' any more, but I am sure you will make a great big sister (eventually, ha) and just know that, no matter what, you (and your sister) will ALWAYS be my baby.
Love,
Momma
Friday 31 August 2012
Mercedes - 3.5 Years Old
Dear Mercedes,
Today is your last day at a home daycare (Sherri's). We are all a little bit sad that this chapter in your life is coming to an end, and I know that Sherri will miss you and you will miss her and your little friends there and spending time with your sister every day... but we are thrilled for you to be starting Preschool full-time next week. You are so excited about being a 'big girl' and having a real class, and teachers and learning new things and going on field trips and playing outside for hours a day.
Your father and I were nervous about it, despite knowing how good it would be for you - you have always been more of a shy, tentative, cautious girl. Never the first one in a crowd to make a new friend, or the kid who goes up to random strangers and starts conversations... you are a little tentative about physical things too - slides and swings and sand (yep, you are definitely a product of both of your parents, that's for sure!). But we've been so amazingly proud of you and your strong, smart, sensitive personality these past few weeks. We're in the middle of selling our house, you have a new sibling on the way, you are starting a new school - and yet you roll with the punches and accept it all gracefully, with a minimum amount of tantrums thankfully ;)
We had a couple of preschool orientations this week - I left you alone during both of them and you didn't bat an eyelash. I assumed there'd be tears and clinginess, but I saw brave determination on your face to be a big girl and throw yourself into a new situation. You are now talking to servers in restaurants, saying hi to strangers walking down the street, insisting new people you meet shake your hands, waving to strange dogs... all things that you wouldn't have done even six months ago.
There is a parenting philosophy out there called 'Attachment Parenting' and while I hate the labels that people put on 'types' of parents, and I don't think any one follows any set of principles exactly, it is a theory that your father and I have tended to fall into naturally. While we believe in setting boundaries and rules for our children, we also believe in respecting their individual personalities and reassuring them when they need it. Your sister and you seem to be quite different - Alexis is more of a free-spirit, a little more independent, a little more feisty. And you have always been a big cuddler, more of a mommy's and daddy's girl - a bit nervous about new things, tentative in new situations. I breastfed you until you were two, we never pushed you into doing things you were very uncomfortable with, and even now, at age 3.5 you sleep in our bed with us. Some people would say we are giving in and not being firm enough; some would say that we are setting ourselves up for a lifetime of clinginess and dependency. But seeing how much you've blossomed and grown into a brave, determined, friendly little girl... I have to believe that we are doing the right thing in following our instincts. The way we parent certainly wouldn't be for everyone, nor would it work for every kid - but I don't regret anything we've done with you. I just have to look at your sweet, smiling face and know that we are doing okay.
I can't wait to see you change and grow even more as you get accustomed to preschool - I look forward to hearing your fantastic stories about all your new adventures with your new friends.
Love,
Momma
Today is your last day at a home daycare (Sherri's). We are all a little bit sad that this chapter in your life is coming to an end, and I know that Sherri will miss you and you will miss her and your little friends there and spending time with your sister every day... but we are thrilled for you to be starting Preschool full-time next week. You are so excited about being a 'big girl' and having a real class, and teachers and learning new things and going on field trips and playing outside for hours a day.
Your father and I were nervous about it, despite knowing how good it would be for you - you have always been more of a shy, tentative, cautious girl. Never the first one in a crowd to make a new friend, or the kid who goes up to random strangers and starts conversations... you are a little tentative about physical things too - slides and swings and sand (yep, you are definitely a product of both of your parents, that's for sure!). But we've been so amazingly proud of you and your strong, smart, sensitive personality these past few weeks. We're in the middle of selling our house, you have a new sibling on the way, you are starting a new school - and yet you roll with the punches and accept it all gracefully, with a minimum amount of tantrums thankfully ;)
We had a couple of preschool orientations this week - I left you alone during both of them and you didn't bat an eyelash. I assumed there'd be tears and clinginess, but I saw brave determination on your face to be a big girl and throw yourself into a new situation. You are now talking to servers in restaurants, saying hi to strangers walking down the street, insisting new people you meet shake your hands, waving to strange dogs... all things that you wouldn't have done even six months ago.
There is a parenting philosophy out there called 'Attachment Parenting' and while I hate the labels that people put on 'types' of parents, and I don't think any one follows any set of principles exactly, it is a theory that your father and I have tended to fall into naturally. While we believe in setting boundaries and rules for our children, we also believe in respecting their individual personalities and reassuring them when they need it. Your sister and you seem to be quite different - Alexis is more of a free-spirit, a little more independent, a little more feisty. And you have always been a big cuddler, more of a mommy's and daddy's girl - a bit nervous about new things, tentative in new situations. I breastfed you until you were two, we never pushed you into doing things you were very uncomfortable with, and even now, at age 3.5 you sleep in our bed with us. Some people would say we are giving in and not being firm enough; some would say that we are setting ourselves up for a lifetime of clinginess and dependency. But seeing how much you've blossomed and grown into a brave, determined, friendly little girl... I have to believe that we are doing the right thing in following our instincts. The way we parent certainly wouldn't be for everyone, nor would it work for every kid - but I don't regret anything we've done with you. I just have to look at your sweet, smiling face and know that we are doing okay.
I can't wait to see you change and grow even more as you get accustomed to preschool - I look forward to hearing your fantastic stories about all your new adventures with your new friends.
Love,
Momma
Friday 17 August 2012
Holden - 20 Weeks Pregnant
Dear Holden (we'll have to see what sort of nickname your sisters come up with for you!),
As I suspected, I have now had to change the title and the colours of this blog/journal - since I will no longer only have daughters! I had a very strong feeling from the moment I found out about you that you were a boy - so much so that I've been saying "he kicked" and "when he arrives" etc. right from the beginning.
Last week that hunch was confirmed via ultrasound - and here you are! Holden John (John after your late grandfather, who we'll happily tell you all about as you get older) - welcome to the family! Your sisters are thrilled (well ok, Alexis has no clue what is going on, but Mercedes is pleased since she requested a baby brother) about your impending arrival, as are your grandparents, aunts and of course, your father and I. We're a little befuddled on what exactly to 'do' with a boy - and we have to amass a large quantity of BLUE clothes and get rid of the mountains of PINK - but we're excited nonetheless. I can't wait to see what a wee boy version of us looks like.
In other news - you are growing healthy and strong and perfectly on track. I felt you kick from the OUTSIDE for the first time last weekend (Saturday evening to be exact) and it was thrilling! You've also seemed to go through a massive growth spurt this week, right at the halfway mark in my pregnancy - now your movements are higher up, more pronounced, and more easily felt from the outside. This is my favourite part of pregnancy - feeling those unmistakable kicks and rolls and jabs, knowing that you and I are sharing something special that can never be taken away from a mother and her child.
I can't wait to meet you my sweet boy!
Love,
Momma
As I suspected, I have now had to change the title and the colours of this blog/journal - since I will no longer only have daughters! I had a very strong feeling from the moment I found out about you that you were a boy - so much so that I've been saying "he kicked" and "when he arrives" etc. right from the beginning.
Last week that hunch was confirmed via ultrasound - and here you are! Holden John (John after your late grandfather, who we'll happily tell you all about as you get older) - welcome to the family! Your sisters are thrilled (well ok, Alexis has no clue what is going on, but Mercedes is pleased since she requested a baby brother) about your impending arrival, as are your grandparents, aunts and of course, your father and I. We're a little befuddled on what exactly to 'do' with a boy - and we have to amass a large quantity of BLUE clothes and get rid of the mountains of PINK - but we're excited nonetheless. I can't wait to see what a wee boy version of us looks like.
In other news - you are growing healthy and strong and perfectly on track. I felt you kick from the OUTSIDE for the first time last weekend (Saturday evening to be exact) and it was thrilling! You've also seemed to go through a massive growth spurt this week, right at the halfway mark in my pregnancy - now your movements are higher up, more pronounced, and more easily felt from the outside. This is my favourite part of pregnancy - feeling those unmistakable kicks and rolls and jabs, knowing that you and I are sharing something special that can never be taken away from a mother and her child.
I can't wait to meet you my sweet boy!
Love,
Momma
Tuesday 31 July 2012
Alexis - 14 Months Old
Dear Alexis,
You seem to be maturing and changing and learning so much - right before our eyes. You now say a few words - hi (while waving), bye (while waving), eye (while poking your right eye), mama, dada, tickle (complete with tickle motions on your belly), dat (while pointing)... you also love to brush your (non-existent) hair, try to put on your shoes, turn the pages in a book when I tell you to, give big squishy hugs and slimy kisses, give Duke his toys, splash in the bathtub and mercilessly bug your big sister. You are so sweet and funny and feisty and stubborn, all at the same time. You walk every where now and LOVE climbing things and getting into trouble.
So while all of this makes you seem older and bigger, to me, you are still my sweet little baby - so it's hard to imagine that our breastfeeding relationship is already coming to an end. I know that if I wasn't pregnant, it wouldn't be, and that makes it that much harder for me to swallow (hello, can we say Mommy Guilt to the extreme??). The same thing happened with your sister at around the same point in my pregnancy with you - but of course Mercedes was already nearly 22 months old. At only 14 months you seem much too little and dependent to wean - but alas, it appears that is what is happening. A loss in supply is leaving you disinterested and me in pain - and the one thing I know about extended (or any) breastfeeding relationship, is that it needs to work for both mother and baby.
I won't lie, I shed some tears last night after putting you to bed, because I'm pretty sure that was one of our last sessions, and it wasn't the most fun to be honest. But the night before you woke up at 4 am (something you hadn't done in a while) and I went in to your room and snuggled you in the dark and nursed you until you were quiet and calm and drowsy. That's the picture I'll remember - your sweet-smelling downy hair, your soft little hand stroking my chest, your eyes fluttering closed. I'm sorry that this chapter in our lives has come to an end already - I'll most definitely miss it - but I have to remind myself that a) you'll be just fine b) we've given each other a wonderful gift for 14 months and c) you are getting another sibling to love and torture out of the deal!
Love always,
Momma
You seem to be maturing and changing and learning so much - right before our eyes. You now say a few words - hi (while waving), bye (while waving), eye (while poking your right eye), mama, dada, tickle (complete with tickle motions on your belly), dat (while pointing)... you also love to brush your (non-existent) hair, try to put on your shoes, turn the pages in a book when I tell you to, give big squishy hugs and slimy kisses, give Duke his toys, splash in the bathtub and mercilessly bug your big sister. You are so sweet and funny and feisty and stubborn, all at the same time. You walk every where now and LOVE climbing things and getting into trouble.
So while all of this makes you seem older and bigger, to me, you are still my sweet little baby - so it's hard to imagine that our breastfeeding relationship is already coming to an end. I know that if I wasn't pregnant, it wouldn't be, and that makes it that much harder for me to swallow (hello, can we say Mommy Guilt to the extreme??). The same thing happened with your sister at around the same point in my pregnancy with you - but of course Mercedes was already nearly 22 months old. At only 14 months you seem much too little and dependent to wean - but alas, it appears that is what is happening. A loss in supply is leaving you disinterested and me in pain - and the one thing I know about extended (or any) breastfeeding relationship, is that it needs to work for both mother and baby.
I won't lie, I shed some tears last night after putting you to bed, because I'm pretty sure that was one of our last sessions, and it wasn't the most fun to be honest. But the night before you woke up at 4 am (something you hadn't done in a while) and I went in to your room and snuggled you in the dark and nursed you until you were quiet and calm and drowsy. That's the picture I'll remember - your sweet-smelling downy hair, your soft little hand stroking my chest, your eyes fluttering closed. I'm sorry that this chapter in our lives has come to an end already - I'll most definitely miss it - but I have to remind myself that a) you'll be just fine b) we've given each other a wonderful gift for 14 months and c) you are getting another sibling to love and torture out of the deal!
Love always,
Momma
Thursday 5 July 2012
Alexis - 13 Months Old
Dear Alexis,
You walk! Yay! It's not consistent (i.e. you don't walk more than you crawl, yet) but you CAN do it, and quite well when you set your mind to it. Watching your little tiny feet propel your small chubby body across the room, and seeing how proud you are when you do it - well, it's pretty darn amazing.
You also have discovered how much fun it is to CLIMB things, which gives your father and I heart attacks daily - finding you standing on a stool trying to reach whatever is on the counter is not fun (for us anyway). But I'm glad to see how adventurous and curious you are - I know it's the age of discovery, I just want you to discover safely please ;)
Love,
Momma
ETA: Less than a week after I wrote this, you are definitely, officially a walker. You practiced all weekend and now you toddle around like a drunk zombie ALL day long. It's awesome.
You walk! Yay! It's not consistent (i.e. you don't walk more than you crawl, yet) but you CAN do it, and quite well when you set your mind to it. Watching your little tiny feet propel your small chubby body across the room, and seeing how proud you are when you do it - well, it's pretty darn amazing.
You also have discovered how much fun it is to CLIMB things, which gives your father and I heart attacks daily - finding you standing on a stool trying to reach whatever is on the counter is not fun (for us anyway). But I'm glad to see how adventurous and curious you are - I know it's the age of discovery, I just want you to discover safely please ;)
Love,
Momma
ETA: Less than a week after I wrote this, you are definitely, officially a walker. You practiced all weekend and now you toddle around like a drunk zombie ALL day long. It's awesome.
Dear Peanut #3 - 14 Weeks Pregnant
So I may need to rename this blog, seeing as it's called "Letters to My Daughters" and I don't know if you'll be one of those...but...
Welcome to the family! We were 'slightly' surprised to find out that you were on the way, but once the shock (mostly) wore off, your father and I were thrilled. Anxious about money and logistics and time and all of those 'adult' worries, but not for a second worried about how you'd fit into our family and how much you would be loved. As we learned when Alexis was born, your love for your children multiplies, not divides. And now that Alexis and Mercedes are a bit older, we can see how much they love each other and how nicely (usually) they play together. We can't wait to see how you fit into the equation and to experience life with our three beautiful children. We feel so lucky that we've been so blessed. And as someone said to me recently when I panicked about having a third child (3 kids in 4 years is going to be HARD!) - "there is a reason that tiny souls keep finding you - you were meant to be a mother" and I really feel that it's true. I always wanted to be a mother, despite how difficult it is. But with great effort comes great reward, and when I see the lovely girls that your sisters are growing up to be I feel like I must be doing something right.
So no matter how much money three kids will cost, or how stressful a very young family might be, or how utterly exhausted your father and I will surely be, I will relish every moment of this (for real, my FINAL) pregnancy and every moment with you beyond that. I can't wait to meet you, and to welcome you into our sweet little family.
Love,
Momma
Welcome to the family! We were 'slightly' surprised to find out that you were on the way, but once the shock (mostly) wore off, your father and I were thrilled. Anxious about money and logistics and time and all of those 'adult' worries, but not for a second worried about how you'd fit into our family and how much you would be loved. As we learned when Alexis was born, your love for your children multiplies, not divides. And now that Alexis and Mercedes are a bit older, we can see how much they love each other and how nicely (usually) they play together. We can't wait to see how you fit into the equation and to experience life with our three beautiful children. We feel so lucky that we've been so blessed. And as someone said to me recently when I panicked about having a third child (3 kids in 4 years is going to be HARD!) - "there is a reason that tiny souls keep finding you - you were meant to be a mother" and I really feel that it's true. I always wanted to be a mother, despite how difficult it is. But with great effort comes great reward, and when I see the lovely girls that your sisters are growing up to be I feel like I must be doing something right.
So no matter how much money three kids will cost, or how stressful a very young family might be, or how utterly exhausted your father and I will surely be, I will relish every moment of this (for real, my FINAL) pregnancy and every moment with you beyond that. I can't wait to meet you, and to welcome you into our sweet little family.
Love,
Momma
Tuesday 22 May 2012
Happy 1st Birthday Alexis!
My darling Banana-Lex,
Happy Birthday! It's hard to believe it's been an entire year since you graced us with your presence - on the other hand, it feels like you've always been a part of our little family. It has been such an immense pleasure watching you grow this past year - from a squeaky, tiny, helpless newborn to a feisty, laidback, funny, sweet little girl... what a gift you are. Your sister is madly in love with you, even if you bug her sometimes (common refrains heard here "Mommy, Lexi is biting me! Mommy, Lexi is pulling my feet! Mommy, Lexi is pinching me! Mommy, Lexi took my monkey!") - despite how annoying you can be to her, she dotes on you in a way that warms my heart. I am so happy we've given the gift of sisters to each of you - I love watching your relationship change and grow.
Every mother, when pregnant with her second baby, goes through feelings of doubt "what did I just do to my first baby... how can I EVER love another child as much as I love my first?" But all of the cliches really are true. My love has multiplied and expanded in a way I never thought possible. There is absolutely no doubt in anyone's mind that I love you and your sister more than anything else in the entire world - it's amazing how much capacity the heart holds. I fell in love with you the second I laid eyes on you, but I didn't really 'know' you... it's been such a joy to learn your ins and outs this year... what you love, what makes you mad, how to soothe you, what makes you laugh, the little sweet faces you make when you sleep, the way you snuggle in and stick your hand up my shirt when you nurse, the way you eat, the way you smile, the way you chase the dog and pull the cat's tail. I love knowing you, inside and out.
You currently have 7 teeth, and 4 words (hi, mum, dada, 'dat'). You aren't walking yet, but are standing unassisted more and more often and attempting to climb everything you can find. You aren't sleeping through the night, although I hope that's coming soon! You eat a huge variety of foods, but aren't too fond of eggs or tomatoes for some strange reason. Your favourite toys currently are a little mini car-driving game, mega blocks, the toy kitchen, and stacking cups. You love music and dancing and singing along with whatever your sister happens to be watching.
I am so blessed to have you, and so thrilled that you are happy and healthy and thriving. I couldn't ask for anything more, and I cannot wait to see what the next year, and beyond, holds.
All my love,
Momma (or as you'd say, Mumumum)
Happy Birthday! It's hard to believe it's been an entire year since you graced us with your presence - on the other hand, it feels like you've always been a part of our little family. It has been such an immense pleasure watching you grow this past year - from a squeaky, tiny, helpless newborn to a feisty, laidback, funny, sweet little girl... what a gift you are. Your sister is madly in love with you, even if you bug her sometimes (common refrains heard here "Mommy, Lexi is biting me! Mommy, Lexi is pulling my feet! Mommy, Lexi is pinching me! Mommy, Lexi took my monkey!") - despite how annoying you can be to her, she dotes on you in a way that warms my heart. I am so happy we've given the gift of sisters to each of you - I love watching your relationship change and grow.
Every mother, when pregnant with her second baby, goes through feelings of doubt "what did I just do to my first baby... how can I EVER love another child as much as I love my first?" But all of the cliches really are true. My love has multiplied and expanded in a way I never thought possible. There is absolutely no doubt in anyone's mind that I love you and your sister more than anything else in the entire world - it's amazing how much capacity the heart holds. I fell in love with you the second I laid eyes on you, but I didn't really 'know' you... it's been such a joy to learn your ins and outs this year... what you love, what makes you mad, how to soothe you, what makes you laugh, the little sweet faces you make when you sleep, the way you snuggle in and stick your hand up my shirt when you nurse, the way you eat, the way you smile, the way you chase the dog and pull the cat's tail. I love knowing you, inside and out.
I am so blessed to have you, and so thrilled that you are happy and healthy and thriving. I couldn't ask for anything more, and I cannot wait to see what the next year, and beyond, holds.
All my love,
Momma (or as you'd say, Mumumum)
Thursday 26 April 2012
Alexis - 11 Months Old
Dear Alexis,
You have your first word, yay! You've actually probably been saying it for a while now, but it's SO hard to tell what's just babbling and what is said with actual purpose and intent. But the other day, your Daddy came home from work and as usual, you crawled at breakneck speed down the hallway to greet him. He said "Hi Alexis!" and you beamed and waved and said "Hi!" back! Over and over and over again! We've been testing you, and yep, you really mean HI when you say it. So unbelievably cute, and totally indicative of how much of a little social butterfly you are.
In other news, you start daycare full time next week, as I have to go back to work on Monday. You had only your second visit at daycare yesterday (unattended by me), and you were a rockstar! You cried when Daddy dropped you off (and when I picked you up), but that's totally normal and to be expected for a while. But you stopped crying quickly, and got into the swing of playing with your new little friends happily - you ate a big breakfast, and the best part, you even went down for a nap without a peep! I knew you'd do awesome - you are this amazing combination of feisty and devilish and active, while being very easygoing and laidback and happy. You are such a joy to be around - you make the whole world smile around you. I'm going to miss you so much, but I know you'll be having a blast playing with your sister all day.
Love,
Momma
You have your first word, yay! You've actually probably been saying it for a while now, but it's SO hard to tell what's just babbling and what is said with actual purpose and intent. But the other day, your Daddy came home from work and as usual, you crawled at breakneck speed down the hallway to greet him. He said "Hi Alexis!" and you beamed and waved and said "Hi!" back! Over and over and over again! We've been testing you, and yep, you really mean HI when you say it. So unbelievably cute, and totally indicative of how much of a little social butterfly you are.
In other news, you start daycare full time next week, as I have to go back to work on Monday. You had only your second visit at daycare yesterday (unattended by me), and you were a rockstar! You cried when Daddy dropped you off (and when I picked you up), but that's totally normal and to be expected for a while. But you stopped crying quickly, and got into the swing of playing with your new little friends happily - you ate a big breakfast, and the best part, you even went down for a nap without a peep! I knew you'd do awesome - you are this amazing combination of feisty and devilish and active, while being very easygoing and laidback and happy. You are such a joy to be around - you make the whole world smile around you. I'm going to miss you so much, but I know you'll be having a blast playing with your sister all day.
Love,
Momma
Thursday 5 April 2012
Mercedes - 3 Years Old & Alexis - 10 Months Old
To my Princesses,
I missed the whole month of March, oops! Things are always hectic, particularly since you two seem to want to go in opposite directions. I LOVE being at home with the both of you, but man, it's exhausting! I can hardly find the time to shower, let alone write in your journal.
But I wanted to take this opportunity, before I go back to work in just a couple of weeks, to thank you both for the past year. It's had its ups and downs, there have been tears (from all of us!), a lot of sleepless nights, whiny tantrums, injuries, injustices, yelling (more than I'd like to admit), frustration, anger, overwhelming helplessness, illness... etc. But there have also been tears of joy, heart-melting moments, kisses, hugs, snuggles, laughter, milestones met, new things learned, unshakeable bonds formed, and an overwhelming amount of love.
I not only fell in love with you, my sweet Alexis - birthing you, breastfeeding you, cuddling you while you slept on my chest, snuggling you in our big bed at night, sitting up with you while you were sick, watching you grow and learn and discover all those wonderful things babies discover in their first months.
But I also re-fell in love with you Mercedes, my lovely big girl. Having this second chance to spend extra time with you has been amazing (frustrating and exhausting at times, but amazing). Taking you to gym class and 'math' class and playdates... doing crafts and baking and going on long walks and reading and doing puzzles and playing catch. I loved the time we spent together in your first year of course, but having this chance while you are older is something special and unique that unfortunately, I won't ever get with Alexis.
And most of all, I've loved watching you fall in love with each other. There is nothing like the looks you two give each other, the giggles you two share, the smiles you greet each other with. Of course, there have been bumpy patches in your relationship also - fighting for my attention, being told you aren't allowed certain things, and more recently, a biting baby sister who tries to steal her big sister's snacks. But in general, you two love each other so much that it makes MY heart hurt with how happy it makes me.
I can never get this year back, and I know that when I'm back at work things will be hectic and overwhelming and we won't get as much time together. But I'll always have the memory of how special it has been, and how much I've learned - both about my amazing girls, and about myself as a mother. I love you Mercedes, and I love you Alexis. My shining stars, forever.
I missed the whole month of March, oops! Things are always hectic, particularly since you two seem to want to go in opposite directions. I LOVE being at home with the both of you, but man, it's exhausting! I can hardly find the time to shower, let alone write in your journal.
But I wanted to take this opportunity, before I go back to work in just a couple of weeks, to thank you both for the past year. It's had its ups and downs, there have been tears (from all of us!), a lot of sleepless nights, whiny tantrums, injuries, injustices, yelling (more than I'd like to admit), frustration, anger, overwhelming helplessness, illness... etc. But there have also been tears of joy, heart-melting moments, kisses, hugs, snuggles, laughter, milestones met, new things learned, unshakeable bonds formed, and an overwhelming amount of love.
I not only fell in love with you, my sweet Alexis - birthing you, breastfeeding you, cuddling you while you slept on my chest, snuggling you in our big bed at night, sitting up with you while you were sick, watching you grow and learn and discover all those wonderful things babies discover in their first months.
But I also re-fell in love with you Mercedes, my lovely big girl. Having this second chance to spend extra time with you has been amazing (frustrating and exhausting at times, but amazing). Taking you to gym class and 'math' class and playdates... doing crafts and baking and going on long walks and reading and doing puzzles and playing catch. I loved the time we spent together in your first year of course, but having this chance while you are older is something special and unique that unfortunately, I won't ever get with Alexis.
And most of all, I've loved watching you fall in love with each other. There is nothing like the looks you two give each other, the giggles you two share, the smiles you greet each other with. Of course, there have been bumpy patches in your relationship also - fighting for my attention, being told you aren't allowed certain things, and more recently, a biting baby sister who tries to steal her big sister's snacks. But in general, you two love each other so much that it makes MY heart hurt with how happy it makes me.
I can never get this year back, and I know that when I'm back at work things will be hectic and overwhelming and we won't get as much time together. But I'll always have the memory of how special it has been, and how much I've learned - both about my amazing girls, and about myself as a mother. I love you Mercedes, and I love you Alexis. My shining stars, forever.
Monday 13 February 2012
Mercedes - 3 Years Old!
Dear Mercedes,Happy Third Birthday my big girl!! It's hard to believe that three whole years have gone by - your life has flashed by in an instant, but at the same time, it's hard to believe you haven't been in our lives forever. You are such a delight... minus the tantrums, the whining, the sleep issues... but even those hard moments make you the little person that you are. Your vocabulary is astounding, and you have the best, funniest, most amazing conversations with us. You make jokes, you give great hugs, you are affectionate and loving with your sister and with Duke, and with us. You have these wonderfully long arms and legs and giant feet, which we affectionately refer to as 'clodhoppers'. You insist on being half-naked most of the time - ditching your socks and your pants almost immediately upon walking in the house. You have the same addictive personality as your father - when a show or a snack catches your fancy, you insist on it over and over and OVER again. You try to bargain with us daily for more snacks, more shows, more stories, and you try to resist bedtime like there's no tomorrow. But we love the nighttime cuddles with you, and we are enjoying this wonderful age of discovery, ups and downs and all. You LOVE to sing songs and you are slowly learning how to recognize the alphabet. You can count to 15 or so, and are getting great at recognizing your numbers from 1-10. You absolutely ADORE going to 'classes' - currently we are doing a 'math' class at the Ontario Early Years Centre, as well as Kindergym, and you are full of enthusiasm for both! I can't wait to see you in school in a year and a half - I just know you will love it!
I am so proud of the wonderful little person you have become and I can't wait to see what the future holds for my bright little girl. We love you so much Princess.
Love,
Mommy
Tuesday 7 February 2012
Alexis - 8.5 Months Old
Dear Alexis,
You have two teeth! Yay!
Your lower right central incisor (common first tooth) and your upper right LATERAL incisor - a little out of order for a 2nd tooth, but you've always been a trouble-maker haven't you?? ;) Both are just BARELY cut, but perfectly explain the random evening screaming you've been doing lately when you should be sleeping. I have a feeling some more are on their way too... I'm going to miss that gummy smile.
Love,
Mommy
You have two teeth! Yay!
Your lower right central incisor (common first tooth) and your upper right LATERAL incisor - a little out of order for a 2nd tooth, but you've always been a trouble-maker haven't you?? ;) Both are just BARELY cut, but perfectly explain the random evening screaming you've been doing lately when you should be sleeping. I have a feeling some more are on their way too... I'm going to miss that gummy smile.
Love,
Mommy
Mercedes - 35 Months Old
Dear Mercedes,
You are nearly three years old and your vocabulary and comprehension of things astounds me every day. You have the most wonderful conversations with the people around you, ask inquisitive questions, and have an amazing memory for fine details!
You say things that surprise and delight us and make us laugh and cry. Here is a sampling:
Me, to Alexis: I love you so much my baby girl!
Mercedes, while watching a Dora episode: Mommy, do we have a family?
Me: Of course, we are your family!
Mercedes: But I don't have a Boots.
Me: No, but you have Duke.
Mercedes: Yeah, Duke is my family, I love Duke. And Rusty. But where is Bruiser?
Andrew: Bruiser had to go away. He was very sick. But he loved you very much.
Mercedes: Yeah. He did. I love Bruiser too.
Me: *tears*
Me: Mercedes, who is your best friend?
Mercedes: Lexi is my best friend ever!
Driving in the car with Mercedes this afternoon:
Mercedes: Oh Mommy, there is a car coming, I'm scared!
Me: Don't worry, I see it. I always protect you don't I?
Mercedes: Oh don't worry, I don't need you to protect me, I can protect myself. All I do is close my beautiful eyes and I feel better.
And later... to a not-so-fast minivan:
Mercedes: Come on grey car, MOVE. Jesus, you're slow grey car.
Mercedes' new favourite way to tell me something important: Mommy, I'm just going to tell you a question okay?
You are nearly three years old and your vocabulary and comprehension of things astounds me every day. You have the most wonderful conversations with the people around you, ask inquisitive questions, and have an amazing memory for fine details!
You say things that surprise and delight us and make us laugh and cry. Here is a sampling:
Me, to Alexis: I love you so much my baby girl!
Mercedes, while watching a Dora episode: Mommy, do we have a family?
Me: Of course, we are your family!
Mercedes: But I don't have a Boots.
Me: No, but you have Duke.
Mercedes: Yeah, Duke is my family, I love Duke. And Rusty. But where is Bruiser?
Andrew: Bruiser had to go away. He was very sick. But he loved you very much.
Mercedes: Yeah. He did. I love Bruiser too.
Me: *tears*
Me: Mercedes, who is your best friend?
Mercedes: Lexi is my best friend ever!
Driving in the car with Mercedes this afternoon:
Mercedes: Oh Mommy, there is a car coming, I'm scared!
Me: Don't worry, I see it. I always protect you don't I?
Mercedes: Oh don't worry, I don't need you to protect me, I can protect myself. All I do is close my beautiful eyes and I feel better.
And later... to a not-so-fast minivan:
Mercedes: Come on grey car, MOVE. Jesus, you're slow grey car.
Mercedes' new favourite way to tell me something important: Mommy, I'm just going to tell you a question okay?
Saturday 4 February 2012
Alexis - 8 Months Old
Dear Alexis,
Last week was a difficult one for you. Last weekend, you threw up a couple of times and started having the most DISGUSTING poops ever. Fun, I know. We stopped feeding you all solid foods and just tried to get as much fluids (i.e. breastmillk) into you as possible. Your big sister was sick with a cough/cold at the same time, but thankfully no one else caught your tummy bug. You exploded out of your clothes with every single poop, necessitating many outfit changes and a ton of laundry. But we kept a careful eye on you to be sure you were still seemingly hydrated - crying real tears, peeing also, soft spot looked okay, etc. You were still alert and happy and sleeping well, and non-stop moving of course.
And then on Monday night, we took you to the hospital :( You had a big vomit, and then immediately started seeming lethargic. You weren't moving around much, you were vacantly staring into space, and perhaps most telling, you refused to smile, even at your father! We immediately packed you up and took you in. I admit, I panicked a bit - I probably should have thought of just getting you some Pedialyte on my own, but I wanted the doctors to look at you to be sure. A whole bottle of Pedialyte later, you were smiling and charming all the nurses and the other patients in the department.
You've been slowly improving since, and last night we finally reintroduced some solid food to you again, which you ate with gusto! I am so happy you are feeling better - nothing is scarier than seeing you tiny baby sick and worrying that something serious could happen.
Last week was a difficult one for you. Last weekend, you threw up a couple of times and started having the most DISGUSTING poops ever. Fun, I know. We stopped feeding you all solid foods and just tried to get as much fluids (i.e. breastmillk) into you as possible. Your big sister was sick with a cough/cold at the same time, but thankfully no one else caught your tummy bug. You exploded out of your clothes with every single poop, necessitating many outfit changes and a ton of laundry. But we kept a careful eye on you to be sure you were still seemingly hydrated - crying real tears, peeing also, soft spot looked okay, etc. You were still alert and happy and sleeping well, and non-stop moving of course.
And then on Monday night, we took you to the hospital :( You had a big vomit, and then immediately started seeming lethargic. You weren't moving around much, you were vacantly staring into space, and perhaps most telling, you refused to smile, even at your father! We immediately packed you up and took you in. I admit, I panicked a bit - I probably should have thought of just getting you some Pedialyte on my own, but I wanted the doctors to look at you to be sure. A whole bottle of Pedialyte later, you were smiling and charming all the nurses and the other patients in the department.
You've been slowly improving since, and last night we finally reintroduced some solid food to you again, which you ate with gusto! I am so happy you are feeling better - nothing is scarier than seeing you tiny baby sick and worrying that something serious could happen.
Friday 27 January 2012
Mercedes - 35 Months Old
January 27th, 2012 – nearly 3 years old.21 Questions to ask your child:
1. What is something mommy always says to you?
You pick.
2. What makes you happy?
Playing makes me good. Like doing puzzles.
3. What makes you sad?
Lexi makes me sad. Because I want to check my email on the computer and if I check my email that will make me happy again and if I check my email Lexi will be happy too!
4. What makes you laugh?
Dukey like when he’s running around on the couch and having crazy time. That makes me happy.
5. How old are you?
3
6. How old is Mommy?
11
7. How old is Daddy?
3
8. What is your favorite thing to do?
Like, doing puzzles!
9. Who is your best friend?
Lexi is my best friend.
10. What do you want to be when you grow up?
I want to watch tv when I wake up in the morning. And then I fix cars in my work.
11. What are you really good at?
I’m really good at playing my cooking.
12. What are you not very good at?
Checking my email.
13. What did you do today?
I don’t know what I did.
14. What is your favorite food?
Chicken and fries.
15. What is your favorite song?
ABCD
16. What do you want for (holiday or birthday) this year?
I’m going to look if they have Dora cakes.
17. What is your favorite animal?
Dukey
18. What is love?
Ceecee is love.
19. What does mommy/daddy do for work?
Daddy works on cars!
20. Where do you live?
Town
21. Where is your favorite place to go?
Park. Park is good, but I don’t like going on the slide. I like going on the bumblebee or the frog.
1. What is something mommy always says to you?
You pick.
2. What makes you happy?
Playing makes me good. Like doing puzzles.
3. What makes you sad?
Lexi makes me sad. Because I want to check my email on the computer and if I check my email that will make me happy again and if I check my email Lexi will be happy too!
4. What makes you laugh?
Dukey like when he’s running around on the couch and having crazy time. That makes me happy.
5. How old are you?
3
6. How old is Mommy?
11
7. How old is Daddy?
3
8. What is your favorite thing to do?
Like, doing puzzles!
9. Who is your best friend?
Lexi is my best friend.
10. What do you want to be when you grow up?
I want to watch tv when I wake up in the morning. And then I fix cars in my work.
11. What are you really good at?
I’m really good at playing my cooking.
12. What are you not very good at?
Checking my email.
13. What did you do today?
I don’t know what I did.
14. What is your favorite food?
Chicken and fries.
15. What is your favorite song?
ABCD
16. What do you want for (holiday or birthday) this year?
I’m going to look if they have Dora cakes.
17. What is your favorite animal?
Dukey
18. What is love?
Ceecee is love.
19. What does mommy/daddy do for work?
Daddy works on cars!
20. Where do you live?
Town
21. Where is your favorite place to go?
Park. Park is good, but I don’t like going on the slide. I like going on the bumblebee or the frog.
Monday 16 January 2012
Alexis - 8 Months Old (almost)
Dear Alexis,
You are a girl on the move! You drag yourself army-styles, you crawl, you do downward-facing dog, you push yourself back up to sitting from lying down, you can pull yourself up on some things (like ME, all day long!). It's so fun watching you explore your little world, although it certainly makes things more difficult! You are eating EVERYTHING now and absolutely LOVE fruits and vegetables (hopefully that lasts, unlike your non-green-eating sister).
You babble and laugh and giggle (mostly at your sister) and try to imitate the singing that your sister does. It's such a joy to watch the two of you interact. As you get older and more 'fun' for Mercedes, she becomes more and more obsessed with you. She sings to you in the car if you start to cry, she has to kiss you good morning and good night and hello and goodbye each day, she picks up your cup when you drop it, she brings you toys when you want to play. She is such a great big sister, and the look of complete adoration in your eyes makes any headaches of having two young children worth it. We are so lucky to have two such wonderful girls.
Love,
Mommy
You are a girl on the move! You drag yourself army-styles, you crawl, you do downward-facing dog, you push yourself back up to sitting from lying down, you can pull yourself up on some things (like ME, all day long!). It's so fun watching you explore your little world, although it certainly makes things more difficult! You are eating EVERYTHING now and absolutely LOVE fruits and vegetables (hopefully that lasts, unlike your non-green-eating sister).
You babble and laugh and giggle (mostly at your sister) and try to imitate the singing that your sister does. It's such a joy to watch the two of you interact. As you get older and more 'fun' for Mercedes, she becomes more and more obsessed with you. She sings to you in the car if you start to cry, she has to kiss you good morning and good night and hello and goodbye each day, she picks up your cup when you drop it, she brings you toys when you want to play. She is such a great big sister, and the look of complete adoration in your eyes makes any headaches of having two young children worth it. We are so lucky to have two such wonderful girls.
Love,
Mommy
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